Wednesday, November 26, 2008

Holiday Help

And so I’m in the process of bringing on some extra help for these last few weeks before the big holiday. Oh and no I won’t be opening my doors at 6 am on Black Friday in the hopes of luring in shoppers nervous to spend this season. In fact my main concern will be filling all the orders I have on hand in time, hint to those of you thinking about giving rope this year… ORDER EARLY.

The thing is, finding just the right people to add to my crew even for a temporary position is a tricky one. Some folks really want to come work for me and send me emails like this…

I keep thinking about a fantasy of coming to you maybe for a job interview and in order for you to even consider me I must get naked. You ask me to stick my tongue out and clamp it between two chopsticks. Then you proceed with the interview and you assault me with a tone of questions. And every time I can't properly answer you do something evil of your choosing... employing more implements and tighter bondage... maybe leaving one foot free to fill out the application with my toes... When you are done with the interview you untie my tongue and ask me if I'm still interested in the job and if so I should convince you with a proper cock sucking that I'm the right girl for the job...

Hmm, I don’t think OSHA will look to kindly on the whole exposed toes thing. I recommend that all my crew wear steel toe boots. Also we really don’t have an official “application” to fill out and my whole crew knows that my loft office is completely off limits too.

Oh wait what was that you say? She’s not actually applying for a job, but coming onto me? Oh…. ok.