Monday, September 21, 2009

I think Jester may have mixed some gun powder into my coffee

I can't blame him really, he does not drink the stuff and with half the crew out the two of us are screaming about the Abbey trying to get this huge fucking pile of orders out the door. UPS, DLH and every one else is delivering fresh stock to us today AND if that is not enough I'm also rigging for my first pro-bondage shoot with NakedGord.Com today.

Yeah, gonna be a crazy couple of days :)

In the meantime, enjoy another fun post from the vaults. This is a personal favorite of mine and the whole, "I intend to fuck you so hard you will sustain internal bruising" seems to be a reoccurring theme in my world... I wonder why?

Originally posted: December 02/2004
Atomic Fucking
I once read that somewhere, there existed the oldest known text of erotica, an ancient Japanese sex manual, in fact. In this manual, the author describes fifteen unique and distinct motions a man should be able to make with his penis while making love to a woman. That’s right, fifteen - and you thought “in, out, and repeat as necessary” was it?

Things like:

“…like a sandpiper plucking insects from shore”
“ if a great wave crashing upon a rocky beach”

And so on.

Of course this made for great flirtation fodder, “so, yeah, I have the first 7 down cold, but maybe with you I can finally master 8 and 9?”

The one “motion” they did not cover is what I’ll call “Atomic Fucking". Now, hard fierce sex seems to have gotten a bad rap as of late. Yes, I know that I should heed the call of the great and might Tenacious D and “fuck her gently” but I doubt that even Jack Black would disagree with me on this.

So what is Atomic Sex then? This is that hot, sweaty, sex that runs the fine line between love and anger. The kind of sex where you do not merely thrust yourself into your lover – no, you are out to hurt her with your cock. To penetrate her, and drive yourself into her with an animalistic fury that borders on sadistic. Blinded by your mutual feral lust, you seek to pound her, to fuck her with such a fury of hunger and passion as to leave you both incapable of speech afterwards and, if you have the stamina, unable to put your legs together the next day.

Of course, this really is not the best way to say start your night of love making, no that would be like having Led Zeppelin play as your opening act. This is the kid of sex that leaves you both exhausted and unable to do more than curl into each other and shudder.

Rather, like an atomic bomb, your must assemble the proper components in order to create the chain reaction needed to create this devastating sexual experience.

First you need the proper fissionable base material. A good and sexually charged relationship where you really trust your partner. Yes, there must be lust present, but equally important is trust. If you are to let go of yourself and blindly throw your being into this sort of madness of lust, you better be damn sure your lover is cool with this. Things will be said as you claw madly at each other. Names will be called; curses exchanged and yes, bruises left… If you are not secure that in the heat of your mutual desire, these are in fact cries of love and affection and that the bite marks are tokens of your love - well then, you are going to be having a lot of apologizing to do later.

Next would be the ignition sequence. Again, this is not something you just say, “hey sweetie let’s take off our clothes, pull each other’s hair and call one another filthy names!” No this must be triggered… slowly. We all have them, those little buttons that push us beyond our normal limits, beyond our own control and into that feral space. That space where we fully let goes your control, where we succumb to our inner beasts. You cannot just rush into this space, it must build up pressure. Pull hard against me, dig your nails into my shoulders, bite down hard upon the muscles of my chest and I transform. Like the cursed man when he sees the full moon rise, I can almost feel my canines lengthen and sharpen. Snarling, I respond in kind.

Then there is the whole matter of payload. Just how hard and long can you go like this? Sure there is the physical aspect to consider. You are not merely thrusting your hips together with force, no you are driving your whole body into your lover with hunger and furry. You sweat, you grind flesh, and you both scream… a lot. But how far is too far? What is the difference between, say Bikini Atoll Atomic Fucking and oh say Global Thermal Nuclear War? Duration? Intensity?

Perhaps by the number of cop cars that shows up at your door due to panicked neighbors?