Tuesday, February 28, 2006

I still need to write the press release for this, but it is official. We are now a "Corporate Sponsor". I feel so mature all of a sudden, quick I best go do something strange and silly to counter act these strange feelings.

Monday, February 27, 2006

Yes, yes this is a photo of what you think it is.

A girl
A girl suspended
A girl suspended with a bowling ball hanging from her crotch rope
A girl suspended with a bowling ball hanging from her crotch rope and a holding up one very happy Nerdy.

Talk about a nice way to spend an afternoon. Good thing we also got some video of it too.

Friday, February 24, 2006

So my latest column for JanesGuide.Com is up. You can read it here. I really should get my graphics guy to make me a sidebar thingie for that

In other news, last night marked the first night Dancer and I spent together in the new bed we bought together. There is a much longer tale to tell here, but suffice to say the new bed was christened quite thoroughly, thank you.

Lastly a request from my dear friends at SEAF:
Seattle Erotic Art Festival Seeks Volunteers
This is your opportunity to promote freedom of sexuality, speech and creativity (and to get into the festival for free). Volunteers are needed to assist with promotion, construction, set-up/decor, staffing (ushers, cashiers, ticket-takers, coat check, runners, etc.) and clean-up. Excellent cruising potential for all genders and sexual proclivities. Crew food available to those who put in a full day during installation/clean-up. Shifts start today; installation March 17-23, Festival March 24-26, clean-up March 27. Please contact seafvolunteers@wetspot.org. Tickets on sale now at BrownPaperTickets.com.

Tuesday, February 21, 2006

New Names
I failed to mention that we decided to NOT name our newest Abbey citizen “The Bacon Princess”. Everyone seemed to like the title, save the one who would be bearing it. We even went as far as to take a vote on it and the name was unanimously approved 4 to1 (hey, democracy works), still our dear K was still not thrilled by the new name. Some folks are never happy I guess.

We were at an impasse. See, none of the other names we had come up with really fit (you have NO idea how hard it is to come up with good blog pseudonyms) that is until she took her first solo sift on one of our processing machines. Armed with blowtorches and decked out in all her protective gear she did not look like “The Bacon Princess” type at all. No, more like a kinky “Rosie the Riveter” or as we like to now call her, “Blowtorch Betty”

Note: we are also looking for some folks who can do piece rate work for us. This job is off site, set your own hours, and really flexible. Great for stay at home types or folks who want to make a couple extra bucks in the evenings. Craft types (needle point, knitting, and sewing) would be perfect for this task. The job is local to Seattle, interested parties should contact me via the e-mail address on the blog.

Monday, February 20, 2006

The Bunny Suit

Midori has been trying to get me into a bunny suit for over a year now. Actually she wants both me and her partner Kelly to don them for some kind of fund raiser event. This all came about when we were sharing a shuttle to the airport after a particularly exhausting weekend at Thunder in the Mountains in Denver last year. Punch drunk from too many late nights and long days we were all a wee bit silly. I think it was sometime after I did my impersonation of Midori, “Remember, cinch with GUSTO!” ,that the bunny suit idea was born.

Of course the mechanics of planning a time when we can get all three of us in the same city at the same time AND have bunny suits on hand has proven a bit of a challenge, however the idea is still there. The latest iteration involved me donning said bunny suit and being the only male attendee at her annual women’s only event Bang for the Buck. Oh and did I mention that I could only attend said event if I was to keep the suit on the ENTIRE time and that my penis was to be firmly duck taped to the side of my leg? Yeah… good thing that Body Bound was also happening the same weekend and I would be unable to attend (or get my wedding tackle taped down).

Midori gives a lot back to charity and I really respect her for that. Her bang for the buck parties are the stuff of legend and yes, yes I did actually contemplate getting taped down just to see one first hand.

Instead of the bunny suit I offered to donate 15% of all my sales from this weekend’s Body Bound Educational Weekend to her favorite charity, The AIDS LifeCycle. Thanks to all of our wonderful customers who came out and bought rope, this was a very financially successful weekend. Not only will we keep the lights and water on at the Abbey for another month (and keep Nerdy, Griffin and K off the streets and a lifes of crime) we also are proud to be sending a rather large check to the ALC in Midori’s name.

Thank you all so very much. I say it time and time again. TwistedMonk.Com customers are the best, friendliest, and most wonderful bunch of folks on Earth. I’m humbled to have met so many of you this weekend. Thank you again.

Of course after a long weekend of being on my feet selling and talking I’m speechless (literally folks, lost my damn voice) and sick with ANOTHER cold. So pardon me while I tuck into my bed with my copy of American Gods and try to catch up on some much needed rest. And have no fear, there will be a bunny suit event in my future. Just a matter of time, next year’s Folsom perhaps?

Sunday, February 19, 2006

Home Safe,
Safe and sound from BodyBound and all tired.

Friday, February 17, 2006

Off to Portland!

A new cold snap has hit the area and the temperature has plummeted. Even with our new heaters running at full tilt the Abbey feels like a walk in cooler. Thankfully we are headed south to Portland. Hopefully they are enjoying even a wee bit warmer days than we are. The car is literally stuffed to the roof with rope for this weekend’s Body Bound Conference. Nerdy just gave me the final tally, 5500 ft and change. Damn, that is a lot of rope.

If you were lucky enough to get tickets for the event, please come by say hi and fondle the rope. Part of what makes these events worthwhile is meeting and chatting with readers and customers. (oh and if you really want to make points, a single Americano, one sugar and one cream would be most welcome)

Now if you did not get tickets, sorry to tell you but the event is all sold out. I think they have some tickets left for the play party Saturday night, but those are almost gone as well.

And finally, my first column for JanesGuide.Com goes live today. Enjoy.

Thursday, February 16, 2006

Delightfully Devious

We are almost all finished with the Body Bound Deathmarch, just one more day of oiling and packing and we will have ourselves a hefty quantity of rope to bring with us to Portland. Now along with all the rope, I like to bring shinny steel toys as well. The guy who makes my suspension rings also makes the most delightfully evil steel insertable toys. These items are really not our core focus so I opt to not offer them on the site, but when we go to shows I like to bring a few along.

While most of his toys fall into the “You want to put that in my what?!” category. I have already blogged about the “ass hook” he makes, but my favorite steel toy of his is this.

Its called a piton and it is basically a small steel insertable (usually in the ass) that you can tie to the body. Most of the women who have been on the receiving end of this item loved it. The small shape makes for a less intimidating experience while the act of having a butt plug tied to you such that it will not pop out and any movement elsewhere on the rope will cause the item to react is well… well that is just really hot. I was quite satisfied with mine till a lovely girl from Texas asked me, “Does it come in an XL?”

Don’t ya just love overachievers?

So I commissioned the maker to design me a much larger version and yesterday when he delivered the rest of the steel toys he delivered this.

Can you say wow? Talk about an imposing toy. Yeah, this makes my evil heart sing with joy. Now the next problem with a steel toy is heat. See part of the appeal of steel is the look and feel of stainless steel- cold, shinny and unyielding. Problem is, while the piton starts off cold once inserted into the body it will quickly raise to the ambient temperature. Hmm how to keep it cold? I thought about perhaps making some kind of custom ice cubes wrapped in condoms that could then be inserted into the hollow end of the piton? Then it was my friend Jester, you remember him right? The guy who could kill a man armed only with a taco sauce packet.

His suggestion, “Well you could just use a wee bit of liquid nitrogen in a short burst, that would drop the temp in a heart beat.”

Now while I consult my medical friends on how one might do this and not wind up with the "tounge stuck to the flagpole" sort of thing, let me just say how much I love my friends?

Oh and did I mention that these also conduct electricity? This is the place where I do the evil laugh and dance about with sadistic glee.

Tuesday, February 14, 2006

Hey Steed & Peel, contact me. Your order is done!

Walking out of the house this morning I decided to take a detour and dig though my CD collection for some new shop music. Something different, you know mix it up a bit and break us out of that same dozen CD cycle we have been in. So I dug deep in to the archives, dusted off a few discs that frankly I was amazed that I still owned and headed into the shop.

Wanna know one of the pleasures of being the boss? I get to play anything I want and today I had a nostalgic urge to listen to some ska tunes. Remember ska right? Bright, island flavored pop infused with kick horns, bright colors and frenetic dancing? The sound enjoyed a decent revival a few years back with bands like Reel Big Fish topping the charts.

Ever since first hearing them way back when Pete Townsend was using them during his “White City, a Novel” period, I’ve always had a fondness for the horn sections in rock bands. Of course the whole “3rd wave Ska” thing eventually gave way to the “Swing Dance Revival” and next thing you knew we were all wearing zoot suits and wide brimmed pimp hats. Me? I never looked good in a zoot suit and don’t get me started on swing dancing. I tried it and sucked at it, sucked hard.

As is the way of popular culture, the trend peaked and rapidly lost favor till any music with a brass section was all but shunned from the airwaves. Such is the ebb and flow of music. It is however fun to turn them up from time to time and dance about like a loon. Of course there will still be no zoot suits in my future.

Oh and the other tunes we played right afterwards?
Rob Zombie

Sunday, February 12, 2006

Damn laptop...

My laptop, the one primary tool I carry EVERYWHERE just bit the dust. Hardware failure. Fortunately I make frequent backups and have a very good service plan on the beastie. So pardon me while I dust off my back-up laptop, shuffle this one off to the service center and keep prepping for BodyBound next weekend.

Oh in other news, Dancer and I bought a bed together! Wow. A major purchase of furniture with a secondary partner, never done that one before. The best part? The best part is that the entire thing was amazingly drama free. From the loving support of our partners to the actually purchasing of said bed.

Of course we did get some odd looks at the store when we were "testing" the beds out. Now most folks just lay back and see how the firmness feels. Us? Oh we were bouncing and shaking and generally looking at the fabric asking ourselves things like, "So can we get this scotchguarded?"

Thursday, February 09, 2006

Not forgotten, just really buried this week.

So a few minor updates on things you might find of interest.
The Jane’s Guide column will launch NEXT week.
The official title of the column shall be, “Trust Me, I Have a m\Merit Badge in This”
Remember that post where I said we needed to make 10250 ft of rope in 4 weeks? We did that in less than 3 weeks… and we are still behind.
This week I hired my 3rd employee to help tame the madness; we have nicknamed her “The Bacon Princess”
We will soon be carrying instructional bondage books for sale.
We have a major league cool in the works with Shibaricon this year. A big announcement is just days away.
Tambo got her first taste of a tens unit… and loved it. (More on that one later)
Tomorrow night Dancer and I are going to purchase a bed together.
This marks the first “major” purchase I have ever made with a secondary partner.
Tambo laughs and thinks that it is all to sweet for words
I’m, I’m remarkably unfreaked by the idea. Rather looking forward to it really.

k, must dash now. My personal sadist is going to kick my ass for an hour ten I need to run off those 2 extra slices of pizza from last night. After that I need to get in 3 dye runs, write a press release, get my next column off to the editor, do something evil to Tambo and maybe, just maybe sleep... damn, I'm late!

Tuesday, February 07, 2006

And so dear readers we come again to the end of another long day, been a lot of long ones recently. Seems that things just keep getting busier and busier here at the Abbey. The January we were expecting, a moderately slow one, did not happen. Rather the momentum of Christmas just kept building till we are now busier than ever.

These, these are good problems to have.

Now as I sit here after everyone has gone home the Abbey is quiet, peaceful even. Here and there you can see the evidence of a frenzied day of rope making. Bails of unfinished stock wait to be boiled and dozens of orders sit in process, each one waiting for some last bit of rope to dry or end whipped. Funny, the place looks nothing like it did when we first moved in a year ago and as I sit here I can see that it will grow and change even more before our time here is done. A year, damn, back then we were all worried whether or not we could make the rent every month. Today this is our home, I could not imagine working anywhere else.

What a difference a year can make.

Speaking of what a difference a year can make, this weekend was Peanut’s one-year kink-anniversary. It was just about a year ago when she came to her first bondage party at the wetspot and sat, watching the event in pie eyed terror. Yep, we were barely moved into the Abbey when she came in one sunny afternoon and shyly admitted, “I think I like rope.” Griffin and I took her under our wing and did what we could to help aid her in her new life as an emerging kinkster.

Funny what a difference a year can make, no?

I must give the girl a ton of credit; she took it upon herself to explore - to push her own limits and step beyond her own fears. So, you can imagine my delight when she asked me to deliver her one-year anniversary scene at the last bondage party. A girl who nearly fainted in fear at her first public scene (also at my hands) happily took the full force of my rope top mojo. Peanut has grown and matured so much in the past year.

Much like the Abbey I look at her and wonder what new wonders the future holds for her too.

Sunday, February 05, 2006

German Readers?
I need a contact in Germany, Berlin to be exact, for a project I'm working on. If you are a German reader and want to help, please e-mail me at blog@twistedmonk.com

Friday, February 03, 2006

"When are you going to offer pink rope?"

If I had a dollar for every time I heard that request I could buy myself a small Eastern European country! Ok, maybe not an entire country, maybe just a European car. A really nice one with low miles and a sunroof.

All kidding aside, I do get a lot of requests for pink rope. Pink, pink is a tricky color. The subtle pigment and the brownish base tone of the raw hemp make for a unique, pink headache. For this month’s color I decided to go in a completely different direction. Rather than a soft or pale shade of pink, I went for an earthy rose pink. A rich, lusty, dusty pink I like to call. "Dirty Pink"

This is a limited, one time color run. Once the color has been sold out, it is sold out for good.

Thursday, February 02, 2006

My wife, the sexiest dork of all

This morning, while Tambo and I stumbled about our morning ritual in a pre-caffeine haze, I paused to admire the marks on her breasts. Well truth be told, I used the inspection of said marks as an excuse to fondle the fine, firm shape of her body. The marks were from last Saturday night, a delightfully devious evening involving needles, pallet wrap, a wicked little electrical device and a strategically placed Krispy Kreme doughnut. Stroking the fading marks, a network of tiny needle bruises arcing across the gentle slope from collarbone to nipple, I commented that I was looking forward to the Bondage is the Point party this coming Sunday and to the opportunity to play again.

We have a standing play date for these parties and I always like to surprise Tambo with something fun. Having just acquired some lovely black bamboo I was contemplating the best means of incorporating them into the scene.
“I’m thinking that I want to do something with sticks next time”, I commented.

Tambo paused and fixed me her most earnest stare, “Oh, were you thinking about their early power ballad stuff or their later failed attempt at new wave?”


“You know, Styx.”
Blink, blink, blink
And then, gentle reader I kid you not, she began to belt out in her best mullet fueled falsetto

And they wonder why I love her so?

*for those of you born after the decade of the arena rock power ballads known as the 1970’s the song is from the band Styx, “Lady” . Go look them up on i-tunes under heading "70's wuss rock"

Wednesday, February 01, 2006


Max is teaching one of his amazing classes this Sunday at the Wetspot. This month’s topic will be partial suspension. We have teamed up with bondagelessons.com to offer a partial and full suspension rope kit just for this class. Click here for details.

We have a very limited number of these kits on hand; so don’t wait till the last minute.

In other news,

Tomorrow night is the Traveling Erotic Art Show.

Also, registration for Shibaricon 2006 just opened up. We are in the process of negotiating something very cool for this event. Stay tuned.