Wednesday, January 31, 2007

A voice from my past life.

I just read that the man I once worked for has gone missing.

Kinda disturbing, I had not thought about him in years.

Tuesday, January 30, 2007

Back from Boston.
Got in last night and fell down into bed. The good news is that of the 400 odd pounds of books and rope we brought out there, only a single suitcase (that could easily have fit in the overhead compartment) of stock returned. The even better news, IM NOT SICK! Yep, I started pounding the airborne (along with an entire battery of vitamins) a few days before leaving and have been doing so ever since.

The bad news? You know the drill, I return home to a pile of fresh new orders that will surely send Nerdy into fits and now need to get back to the Abbey and make more stock. Ya know what, I always will (kink gods willing). So why complain. I'm actually pretty damned happy to be so busy, no make that thrilled. It is pretty hard to say "woe is me" when someone you respect and admire calls you thier "hero", but that is a story for another day.

Yeah, there is lots of work to be done, but I think I'll enjoy the afterglow a bit longer and enjoy some much deserved time off, complie stories from the trip and see about spending some huge (preferably naked) blocks of time with Tambo and Matisse. Oh how I have missed them.

I will close on this. Alex, my awesomly cool boy, deserves a huge round of applause. This weekend was his first show working as my solo support person and he did a fantasic job. Boston was twice, if not three times, the size we expected it to be and we found ourselves knee deep in hungry rope customers from the moment the doors opened till well after the rest of the other booths closed down for the night. Alex never faltered, never flinched and never lost his smile or sense of humor.

Your Daddy is so proud of you.

Friday, January 26, 2007

Welcome to Boston, what we are about to do is technically against the law

My watch tells me that it is about half past 7 Friday night. With the time difference, travel lag and general lack of sleep my body is not sure what time it is. Not a good sign for the first day of an event, but thankfully most of our chores are done and we are free to chill before the madness really kicks in tomorrow. (most of our chores, but not all)

So I suppose I should tell you about the location. I’m sitting here in the lobby of a massive hotel on a hill sprawled out on a couch in front of a fireplace that, with enough wood, could be used to roast a whole cow. Alex is sitting on the floor next to me doing homework, taking a test for his human sexuality class ironically enough. Can I just say again how damn big this place is? I’m pretty sure this place could double as the hotel from the Shining. In fact I’m waiting for a little kid to come riding by on a red tricycle at any moment. Knowing this crowd, the “kid” would in fact be an overweight middle-aged man in pair of latex bib overalls.

Yes, the event attendees have started to arrive, in droves.

When I heard that this event was big, I had no idea. The host hotel where we are staying
Hosts 800 plus rooms. It is sold out, along with 4 other overflow hotels in the area. The place is awash with conspicuous fetish wear and polished leather. I can see Midori and company dining in the restaurant across the way from me. Already folks are queuing up to pay her respects. She is, as always, gracious and friendly to their well whishes, but damn can’t folks at least let her eat dinner in peace?

I should mention the weather. Sweet baby jesus on a pogo stick is it cold. Like ouch, my balls just froze to the side of my leg cold!

I see that Alex is just finishing up his homework and my boots need polishing before we venture out into the cold, cold night for a bit of adventure (more on that when I get back to Seattle, can’t talk about it yet). Tomorrow three thousand people will descend upon this lobby. Wish us luck.

PS to Nerdy, yes Alex and I are eating. No I have not had any diet rockstar… yet.

Thursday, January 25, 2007

Safe in Boston

TSA did not confiscate anything, nor did UPS loose any of the pre-shipped stock. Alex and I are safe and really looking forward to crashing out hard.

Wednesday, January 24, 2007

As if you needed another reason to come directly to see us upon entering the Boston Fetish Flea this weekend

Feast your eyes upon this little lovely. This, dear readers, is a piece of my ultra premium “Bavarian Blonde” rope… in crimson. Due to the cost and small harvests of this rope, I only offer it in its natural, golden brown color. That is until now. We did a crimson run of some and it looks and feels amazing. I’m bringing a very (and I mean VERY) limited quantity of this with me to the show in Boston.

In other Boston news, we are less than 24 hours till departure and fuck if I don’t have a pile of things left to do! So who am I going to see in Boston anyways? I’m counting on some old friends to be there and looking forward to hopefully making some new ones as well.

Tuesday, January 23, 2007

Frank Miller's 300 will be show on IMAX in Seattle.

I have the biggest nerd boner in history right now

Monday, January 22, 2007

The beauty is in the details

So what is 4MM rope good for? The details. Those intricate, artful ties of hair, faces, genitals, hands and toes. While I am not nearly as good as my beloved Tambo, she is way more patient than I am, I do however get a few opportunities to enjoy such ties.

Curious for more? At Boston this year we will be, for the first time ever, bringing a great deal of finished 4MM stock in a wide variety of lengths. In addition to an awesome array of colors, we will also have instructional handouts on face/hair/genital bondage from for sale too. Be sure to ask for a demo (hair and face only folks, not sure how the Boston authorities would take to bits bondage in the vendor area)

Oh and what is the weather like in Boston this week? While I will be spending the better part of 5 days in either an airport terminal or a hotel, it would be nice to know how heavy a coat to pack.

Saturday, January 20, 2007

TwistedMonk.Com Exotic Japanese Jute is now 40% off!

We just secured a new harvest of our exclusive Jute from Japan and are passing the savings on to our customers. Here is your chance to get your hands on some of the best rope to come out of Asia for as low as .75 a foot!

This sale also includes our excusive Osada Steve Authentic Shibari Rope as well!

TwistedMonk.Com’s New Color of the Month on Sale too!

It would be impossible to stock all the unique colors that folks ask for on a regular basis. So instead we now offer a new and unique color every month.

We are long overdue getting this month’s color ready. Between snow storms, holiday recovery and show prep you have all waited so patently. So to say thank you for your patience this month’s color is on sale. Here it is, a deep, dark purple with violet highlights that I’m calling; “Electric Bugaloo”

Yes, it is on sale too! 25% off our already low price.

In addition to being lovely color, this color also utilizes our 100% animal free, vegan-conditioning process. After months of research, testing, and customer feedback we have moved away from animal based oils in the finishing of our rope in favor of an allergen-free oil that brings out more of the rope’s natural smell and softness. Did we mention that the raw rope we use is also organically grown and fair trade as well?

This is a limited, one time color run. Once the color has been sold out, it is sold out for good.

Last but not least, 2006 Unisex Merit Badge T-shirts on sale!

We need to make room for our 2007 shirts so we are blowing out our remaining stock of 2006
. These shirts feature our famous company logo, Abigail over the left breast and our company motto, “trust me, I have a merit badge in this” across the back.

Friday, January 19, 2007

There was this girl at the gym the other day. A fine, fine girl dressed in tight red workout togs and sporting some lovely ink on her shoulders. Now normally I try to make it a point to not ogle at random women when I work out, but this girl.. oh this girl was something else. A tight wife-beater style tee revealed shoulders covered in ink, short boyish hair and glasses completed the look. Oh and did I mention that she was doing this yoga/ caporeia thing in front of me? Yeah, with the bending and twisting and generally displaying the amazing form that was her backside.


Little aside here folks, what makes rope tops drool? I’d argue that flexibility and endurance rank at the top of the list. I’m surprised more guys are hanging around outside yoga studios going, “psst, hemp rope… I got ya hemp rope right here.”

Now I didn’t stare, truth be told I made a point to not stare, rather to let her finish her workout in peace. Sure, I enjoyed the occasional sideways glance, but lord knows I was not about to go over and strike up a conversation with her. Why? Simple, I hate those guys who do that thing.

You know who I’m talking about, the testosterone cowboys who seem to inhabit every gym. Not the serious athletes, but rather the large, sweaty grunting men who spend way too much time together and in order to prove to everyone that they are, in fact, straight they seem compelled to hit on anything with a vagina. Yeah, you know what I mean. Those loud, arrogant pricks who when they are not chugging their “muscle milk” shakes they are piss all over the free weights in some strange ritual to prove to each other who is the bigger “man”. Here is a novel idea, why don’t you boys all just whip out your cocks and compare them and be done with it? Oh I’m sorry, all the “work out enhancers” you have been shooting up with make your balls shrink up?

Let’s be honest here folks, who the hell wants to be hit on in the gym? I mean, damn, you are sweaty, disheveled and generally not looking your best after 30 minutes on a treadmill. Add to this the fact that most folks are lucky just to carve out any time to go work out so any extra time spent fending off the advances of an aging, sweaty man with no neck is not helping things.

I can honestly say that in that moment I’m genuinely embarrassed for my gender.

Tuesday, January 16, 2007

One line letters:

Hey Monk,
Have you ever considered fronting a rock band, what kind of band would it be?
Sure, who has not wanted to be a rock star? Me? I think I would call my band, Pinky and the Fleshtones and only do death-metal covers of songs by the Monkees or maybe John Denver.

Have you ever paid for sex? Conversely have you ever been paid for sex?
Yes and Yes. Next question.

Dear Twisted Monk,
I read Matisse’s blog everyday and love it when she talks about all the books she has on her nightstand. I’m curious, what books do you have on your nightstand?

I am always sort of amazed at the rate my lover can burn through books. Seems like in the span of a few days she can consume a stack of books with out even breaking a sweat. Me? I do not have that gift, I think the same pile of books has been sitting next to my bed now for months. Those books would be:
Dune (I try to re-read this and Anthem every couple of years actually)
The Master’s Manual, Jack Rinella
Ms. Abernathy’s Concise Slave Training Manual
Murder on the Orient Express, Agatha Christie
A Murder is Announced, Agatha Christie
Ms Marpole’s Final Cases, Agatha Christie (yes, Matisse loaned me a few from her stash)

Monday, January 15, 2007

Today when I came into the Abbey guess what met me in my office. A left over cup of coffee. A simple thing really I leave half finished coffee at my desk all the time, save for the fact that said coffee was frozen solid inside the cup!

Ok this snow thing was fun for like the first day or two, but finding coffeecicles on my desk is a bit too much. I moved away from Eastern Washington in order to get away from this crap! Bring back the rain, I like the rain. Rain makes things lush and green; this just makes my balls freeze to the side of my leg and makes me generally very cranky.


Thankfully a wonderful woman took me to the spa last night and soaked me till I thawed out. Thanks lover, you so spoil me.

Friday, January 12, 2007

The quotable Monk

Said to Nerdy
“The thing to remember when cock slapping someone is follow through. It starts with the chin and is finished in the shoulders, rely too much on just the hips and you will blow something out.”

When offering to rescue a snowed in love.
“I’ve got a 4 wheel drive vehicle and an overdeveloped sense of chivalry, don’t fuck with me.”

Said while looking at a fairly under whelming resume.
“A monkey fucking a football could do this job, the question is can they do it well enough so that the football will make them breakfast afterwards?”

Now please pardon me while I get my geek on. See, I have said before that I have a thing for architecture and found this via boing-boing. A photo essay of soviet era bus shelters. For a nation that took bleak and stark architecture to an art form, they really made some cool bus strucures, often times in the middle of nowhere.

Thursday, January 11, 2007

Oh for the love of Christ! In the 15+ years that I have called Seattle home I have never seen this much snowfall in one night. I understand that my neck of the woods got the worst of it, but damn!

Wednesday, January 10, 2007

And so the push for the 7K miracle is still on. With any luck, Griffin and I will kick out another 2000 feet today. Upping the total to 4K in three days. Funny, next week is Griffin’s 2 year anniversary working for me. For those of you who don’t know, Griffin was my very first employee, less an employee and more a partner in crime really. He once did a guest blog about his first day working for me, you can read it here. A great deal has changed in those 2 years, back then we were certain that the authorities would burst in at any moment and cart us both off to jail for what we were doing. These days we are more worried about OSHA bursting in and demanding that we wear better shoes. To celebrate this momentous occasion, we are discussing a number of ideas. While my current favorite involves us both drinking a great deal of tequila and getting matching tattoos (I think I am beginning to have a bit of a tattoo fetish forming) we do have one very cool idea up our sleeves that you will probably enjoy, but more on that later.

In other news, I did get some very sad and disturbing news today.

A friend of a friend attempted suicide last night. While I had only met the person once, it came as a terrible blow. All those around the individual were all reeling from the news and in a general state of shock. My heart goes out to his friends and family right now as they deal with this nightmare. Now, I’m not about to write some trite post about how life is precious and how folks in such a place try to see the good things in life and seek out help. Nope, the guy had his reasons and those are between him and his god (or lack there of).

See, I once tried to kill myself too.

I’ll save you the details of why, but suffice to say that about 10 years ago I found myself with a loaded gun in my lap and unable to come up with a decent reason why I should not put the business end in my mouth. That is till I realized that it would be Tambo who would probably be the first person to find me. Taking a large caliber bullet to the face would leave more than just a mess; no it would leave a sickening gore show for whoever was the first on the scene. Now I didn’t really care about the effect it would have on my family (hell, in some ways I wanted to punish them and the gorier the better), but Tambo, Tambo had done nothing to deserve this and while I tried several times in vain to tell her that this was not her fault. There are just not enough words in the English language to craft a suicide note that would convince someone that it was not in some way their fault. Especially someone who loved you even when you could not seem to manage to love yourself.

No matter how bad my own shit might be, my wife did not deserve to have to clean her depressed husbands brains off the wall.

Eventually, I figured my shit out and made my peace with the universe. However, looking back I can’t help but sort of laugh and roll my eyes at how dire it all seemed at the time. How hopeless I felt in that moment and how for, in that dark moment, this seemed like the only way out and how utterly selfish and stupid it would have been.

I still own the gun. A silent, blue steel reminder, sits locked away in my safe.

Monday, January 08, 2007

A 7K Miracle

I leave for Boston in 16 days and I am so not ready. If I can make seven thousand feet of rope in the next five days I might be able to pull this off. This is a big if here folks. The floodgates opened up the day before Christmas and we have been going like mad ever since. I so need to hire more shop help soon. We have more work than 3 full time bodies can keep up with, how is that for mind-boggling?

But let us not think about that just now. I’ve put in my 12 hours for today so I think I can sit back, relax and enjoy a moment of quiet (before I fall the fuck down) But before I do I wanted to share this shot with you.

This is what I did on New Years Eve. Tambo and I are conferring after we both did face bondage on both the women and then I took said bondage and tied their faces together into a kiss. (Sorry, I can’t show you a more detailed shot of the bondage. Must respect their desire for privacy.)

Now the interesting thing about doing bondage on two people, as opposed to a one on one scene. Doing bondage on a couple is less about the interplay between you and those in the rope, rather it is more about their interaction with each other. The rope is more a medium, a conduit that interconnects the desires of the two bodies into one. As a top, I feel less like I am exchanging my desire with them and more like I am a facilitator. No that is the wrong word, no more like I am conductor? Still the wrong word, but my brain is too fried to come up with a good analogy right now, suffice to say that in the end the mark of a good scene is not them wanting to take me home, but rather the two of them, lost in their desire, forgetting that I am even in the room.

Friday, January 05, 2007

So lets change topics and talk about something new, rope bondage. What’s that you say? I always talk about rope bondage? Well yes, but rather than talk about me tormenting others with rope let us turn our attention to the Monk getting tormented with rope. Namely cbt (that would be “cock and ball torture” for those of you following along at home)

Let me start out by saying that I do not identify as a bottom, submissive or really as much of a masochist. Nope, even calling me a “switch” would be a stretch, yes I do bottom on occasion but it is pretty rare. I do however enjoy a few intense physical sensations, applied by the loving and deviant hands of my partner Dancer (again, for those of you playing the home game. This is the only person I bottom to). One of these “activities” would be having my boy bits tied up.

Yes, I’m a pervert. But you knew that already, why else would you be here?

So it should not come as much of a surprise then to know that this weekend I will be Dancer’s “stunt cock” as she teaches CBT bondage as part of Max’s upcoming monthly bondage class. Yep, I’m gonna be mostly naked, getting my hardware tied up by one of the sexiest women alive on Sunday. If that is not reason enough to want to check the class out, then keep reading. (For the rest of you, Sunday 2:30Pm at the Wetspot in Seattle)

In addition to rope CBT taught by the notorious Mistress Matisse, Max will be teaching hair and bondage for girl bits. If this is not enough, then you must see my beloved Tambo teach face bondage.

For those who have not experienced facial bondage, you are in for a treat.

The act of putting rope on a person’s head is a deceptively powerful act. Most folks react by slipping into a deeply relaxed state, we are talking almost hypnotic for some, and with just a few feet of hemp you can render an otherwise animated person into a mellow puddle of happy. Amazing, amazing stuff and Tambo is, bar none, one of the best practitioners of this style of bondage that I have ever seen. And no, I am not being bias.

(Tambo will be using my sweet Alex as her demo head. Again for those of you following along at home, I’m getting my cock tied up by my secondary partner at a class taught by her primary while my primary partner also teaches a segment using my submissive as her demo bottom. How is that for some poly?)

So come out on Sunday and learn some new rope skills, see my bits get tied up and meet some new folks.

Wednesday, January 03, 2007

From the "Gawd I love this job" files

"Over the weekend I was married to my best friend in the whole world - and my mother, who was ordained via the internet just for the occasion, handfasted us with a much loved length of your lovely rope. When she wrapped the cord around our wrists in front of our nearest and dearest - we couldn't help but to smirk at each other.

So thanks for being a part of a special night (one of many) for me and my Partner in Crime™"

Twistedmonk bondage rope, not just for deviant sex anymore!

In other news,
Of all of western civilization's creations, the electric sock is by far the most amazing. Monk has warm feet. Tri-State killing spree averted.

Monday, January 01, 2007

This morning I sent Matisse (aka Dancer) an email titled, “ouch my brain hurts…”

That is about the shape of how I’m feeling now, almost 24 hours after her and Max’s New Years party. Now I should be writing about the event. Telling tales of the evening’s comings and goings, the charming and sexy people and of course the play. Oh man, was there play.

“So do a scene where I tie up the hot lesbian couple (who NEVER let men put rope on them, but want me to do it) or tie the hot sisters together (who just asked me while both were wearing matching g-strings and bras)?”

Yes, I actually said this. I have witnesses.

Now until the fog in my brain clears and I can locate the remainder of my vocabulary. I seem to have misplaced it along with a ball gag, my gray hanky and many brain cells last night, enjoy this.

A random reader just sent me more photos from Folsom. First off, a shot of me doing bad things to my little Alex on a SF street. Note the shit-eating grin we both are sporting. We just hate to do this sort of thing.
(yes, I am doing hair bondage with Alex's very minimal hair. More on that tomorrow)

Next up, a shot from everyone’s favorite part of the day. By everyone I mean the leering crowds that surged like an incoming tide as soon as this pretty young thing got up on the truss.

What, you want more? Well seeing as how I have been a bit lax in my updates as of recent, here is a VERY not work safe shot from the same scene. Warning, this is way not work safe and no, I’m not doing what it looks like I am doing.

As for tales from last night? Well that, dear reader, will come. I’m waiting on some photos and for the ok to write about certain bits. All I will say now is a huge thank you to Matisse and Max for opening up their home and hosting such an amazing event. This is just one of many great nights I have spent in their home, thank you.