Monday, July 09, 2007


The new motorcycle finally roared to life for me on Friday. After several days of frustration and just never enough time to really sit down and undo the damage from years of non-use, late Friday afternoon she came to life. While I still have dozens of hours of work left to do before she will ever see the open road, I was rewarded with the sounds of her throaty purr.

Yes, I’m referring to my bike as a woman.

My other bike, a vintage Russian bike with a sidecar, is definitely male. It took me a while to find his name, to feel out the personality of the machine as it were, but I call him “Boris”. The machine is beautiful and fun to ride, but lets face it. Pulling a sidecar is not the sexiest of jobs. Rather, Boris is strong and loyal. A great lumbering bear of a machine, hard working and able to stand up to just about anything you throw at him.. save a very steep hill. If Boris could talk, he would sound like a thickly accented cab driver. “Boris have one speed, Boris' speed. If Boris not want to go up hill? Boris no go up hill.”

Now the BMW, this one is different. I knew for sure that this bike would definitely be female, but what kind of female? Once I heard the engine explode into life I knew that this girl was going to be a handful, a proud and high maintenance ride that was not to be trifled with. Her voice, the low growl of her exhaust, sounds like a mix of whiskey and cigarttes. A grand seductress that will certainly cause me many hours of frustration, but oh when she wants to, she will be better than any lover. Yep, a grand Teutonic bitch queen. Strong, proud and loud.

*EDIT* I was going to name the bike after a character in a 70's exploitation film, a terribly bad film in that cheesy sort of "oh my god this is SO over the top" sort of way. However it has been pointed out to me that the character was based on an actual person. Not a good person either. I can't in good faith go with that name now. It just feels wrong to me. Alas, I shall have to go back to the drawing board with this one.