Tuesday, July 17, 2007

Where the hell is Margaritaville anyway?

I think I may have stumbled upon a universal constant. A binding truth, much like the force (or duct tape) holds the universe together. Take two or more affluent, North Americans and put them someplace warm and near a large body of salt water and something disturbing happens. Jimmy Buffet.

For the record, I can’t stand the music of Jimmy Buffet. The man’s music sets my teeth on edge.

I seem to be a minority here. Seems like every beach town I have been to in the last twenty odd years, if they serve cold beer and have the means to produce pre-recorded music there will be our Mr. Buffet. Like a persistent mold that you just can’t seem to scrape off. Now it would be one thing is his appeal was limited to what I would diplomatically call, “my father’s generation”. You know, that brand of tourist who, while exploring the world, doesn’t want to leave the comforts of home too far away. But alas, this is not the case. Get a group of tourists near a beach, put cheap alcohol in their hands and they all want to sing along! Sure, call it “family safe entertainment” all you want, but I know better. It is a cross-generational threat that needs to be further researched in order to be stopped.

I’m wondering if perhaps I can obtain some kind of UN grant in order to further study this phenomenon. Is this limited to just North American beach locations or has this threat spread to Europe as well?

I may need to see for myself.