Friday, May 14, 2004

A quick follow up to Matisse’s comment about kilts. Yes kilts do make great sense. Men, and their dangly bits, are best served by a kilt. As a functional piece of clothing, they are fantastic. They do however have a few drawbacks.
Advertisement: While the kilt does flatter a man’s legs and draws the eye of many a girl, they really lack in the display department say compared to a good pair of tight leather pants. In the words of Spinal Tap, “ with armadillos in our trousers…”

It’s rather hard to stuff a kilt.

Concealment: 2 words, Pup Tent. Guys you know what I am saying. Remember that time in the 3rd grade when you were thinking about Wendy Testiburger in math class, only to be called up to the blackboard? A kilt is worse. You know have this odd pleat in the front of your kilt and find yourself standing funny in hopes of changing the drape of the garment so it is not that noticeable.

Breezes: Sure, in the warm summer months a kilt is a nice cool garment to wear. But in the cold grey Seattle winter, AKA September thru April, it be cold and windy! Nothing sucks more than catching a cold, damp breeze between your knees! Especially when it blows your kilt up and you find yourself doing your best hairy legged Marylyn Monroe impersonation!

That said, I’m not giving my kilt up for anything! I still remember the look of glee and lust in S’s eyes the first time she checked to see if I wore the kilt “proper”.