Friday, September 10, 2004

The differences between swingers and kinksters, # 37 Dancing

Having spent a great deal of time identified as both a “swinger” and a “kinkster” I feel it is my duty to compare and contrast these two very different worlds. While they tend to be lumped into the generic “alternative” lifestyle category by the vanilla world at large, they are quite different worlds.

Young or old, swingers love to dance. Now most folks who have been to a swing club will tell you, swingers don’t dance particularly well, but they do enjoy it. Picture if you will a dance floor, oh about the size of a postage stamp. Now on this floor there are dozens of writhing sweaty bodies in various states of undress. Folks tend to dance almost shoulder to shoulder, the press of bodies creating a sexual buzz that crackles across the floor. For swingers, dancing is a form of foreplay. Hands caressing, clothing removing, bodies grinding are all part of the fun. If you are lucky and your dance partner is really connecting with you, others will writhe around you as if feeding off your sexual energy. It is quite common when in such a situation to look around and say to yourself, “I see my hands, I see her hands… so who the hell is rubbing my ass?”

Kinksters, on the other hand are a whole other matter. Every week the WetSpot holds a party called “The Grind”. This is a dance centered event featuring lots of thumping techno and industrial tunes. Folks come out of the woodwork for these parties dressed in the most amazing costumes. The odd thing is only a handful dance and hardly anyone dances actually WITH someone. Rather, folks move to the beat content in their own little world. Rarely connecting and actually dancing with another person, the exchange of sexual energy is rare. If you watch you can see it, two bodies moving to the music aware of each other but several feet apart. If all goes well they may end up a foot apart, but at no time will there be the horizontal bump and grind of two people eager to grope and feel the flesh of the other.

Which is better? Hard to say really. For me I guess I would say that dancing is like fucking, it is best done with a partner. So I guess you could say that I have an affinity for the sweaty grind of two bodies very intent on expressing their desire for each other through this primal movement. However I must admit that it is a bit weird when you say turn around and someone old enough to be your mother cops a feel. Also, swingers have TERRIBLE taste in music. Do you have any idea how hard it is to get your sexy mac daddy moves on when dancing to Shania Twain? *shudder* If only we could get the driving music and great clothes of the kinksters and mix it with the wanton sexual chemistry of the swingers… then that would be perfect.