Thursday, January 13, 2005

With #6 You Get Egg Roll!
Twiddlybits, who has an ass I want to eat sushi off of, wrote me to say:
I have something to thank you for! Dangly & I got into a discussion about introducing some light "S/M" stuff into our relationship. I told him that I discovered that I like to be bitten on my shoulders (and sometimes elsewhere) back when I was 20 & my then-boyfriend introduced me to it (also hot wax - I told you it was "light"). Well, Dangly has made an effort to try biting me & has discovered himself how much I like it - it can really throw me over the edge in the middle of making love & he enjoys that! I don't think we would have had that discussion (as I'm happy without the biting, too) if he hadn't seen that I was infatuated with you & asked me about it.

Well first off I must give mad props to your partner, Dangly, you know you have a good lover when they are willing to indulge your kinks even if they are not sure they will like it. Dan Savage calls that “Good Giving and Game”. Of course I’m extra delighted to think that I helped a bit in this push over to the kinky side.

You know we get points for very convert to kink we make? Sorta like Amway but with better prizes.

Personally I don’t think there is such a thing as “light SM play” To my knowledge there is no international standards and measuring committee who, upon doing every kinky thing possible to another person, have established a scale of what exactly is “light” vs. “heavy”. You might think me taking 2 needles in my chest as, heavy SM play. However compared to Liss’s 30 plus needle scene I look like a total lightweight.

Rather, I like to think of kink like the menu at my favorite Chinese place.

This place is located in the heart of Seattle’s Chinatown and it is pretty easy to find me when I eat there, just look for the ONLY blue eyed blonde boy in a packed restaurant. Anyways they have this huge menu. The first few pages are your basic, easily identifiable entrees. Stuff that you probably have had before as well as some that, while similar, contain a few new ingrdients and exotic spices. Paging further into the menu you get to dishes that most folks probably have never heard of until, at the very back, the entire menu is in Cantonese.

Now if I were to take a date to this place for dinner, I’m comfortable ordering from about the first 2/3rds of the menu. We would order a nice mix of things both familiar and adventurous. However, when I go eat there with my sister-in-law who is from Hong Kong (and speaks Cantonese fluently) she orders for us both, from the back 1/3 of the menu. I blink and nod in agreement as she and the waitstaff converse in rapid fire Cantonese. When our meal arives it is always fantastic. An amazing mix of colors and flavors, stuff I never thought possible, I make a point to try a bite of everything. Some items I’ll make a note of and try to remember to order again. Other items? Well other items I’ll just put down in the “gee that was different” category and leave it at that.

When it comes to kink, well all sex for that matter, we are all ordering out of the same menu. Today you might only like to eat items from the first page or two and that is just great. Good for you. Six months from now you might want to try something from deeper in the menu.

A lot of it has to do with whom you are dining with. If they are more fluent in the language of sex and you trust them, then you might be more willing to give the more exotic dishes a chance. The trick is to trust your partner and always be willing to at least try a bite.

Now if I may make a suggestion, try the #23, Monk’s Delight, With Extra Burgundy Rope.