Mr. Manners

One of the great things about the local kink scene here in Seattle is that it is constantly growing. The influx of new people interested in exploring rope brings all sorts of fresh new blood and energy to the scene. This is a good thing. Fresh blood helps keep the scene from getting too closed off and stagnant.

There is of course a downside, not everyone knows the etiquette and while there are some decent books on the topic, a lot of things you just sort of have to learn on your own. So I thought I would talk a bit about etiquette as it pertains to rope play in a public play space.

For Observers:

Once the top sets feet under the hard point (AKA those mounts in the celing we like to dangle naked girls from), leave them alone. While most of the rope guys I know are more than happy to show a knot or answer a question from a curious onlooker, once they set foot under the hard point it is best to leave them alone. Even if no rope has yet to come out of the bag, they are in scene space. Planning, pre-visualizing, and mentally prepping for what comes next. Unless it is life threatening, leave them (and their bottom) alone till they are done and by done I mean packed up and dressed. Give them some space.

Speaking of space, Respect what I call the “Scene Bubble”
While you would expect folks who play in public to be ok with voyeurs watching their scenes, there is a difference between respectfully watching at a distance and being a pest. Pay attention to the rest of the crowd here. If someone is playing in a remote back corner of the dungeon it is really not cool to drag a chair right up next to the space and watch. Rule of thumb here, if there are others sitting and watching a scene, ask them if it is ok to join them and watch. If they are playing alone in a corner, assume they do not want you sitting RIGHT at the edge of their space.

For Rope Tops:

Respect the rules of the party:
The WetSpot plays host to all sorts of parties for all sorts of crowds. The rules for one party may not apply at others. Some parties are cool with suspension scenes, others consider that a no-no. Some have very liberal rules as to what is allowed to be used, toy wise, while others put restrictions on the toys allowed in order to set a certain mood for the event. Don’t assume. When in doubt ask a DM.

If the DM does not know you, expect the Spanish inquisition.
Even if you have been doing this for years, be cool and polite to the DM while they ask you all manner of questions about the rigging you are planning to use. Their job is hard enough as it is so flipping them an attitude is really in poor taste. Recently Griffin was planning to do a suspension scene at a party he and Liss did not normally attend. The DM did not know him from Adam and started asking questions about what he had in mind before she would give him a hard point. Now he could have copped a “Do you know who I am?” tone, but he did not. Rather he was polite and answered all her questions. When the scene was completed the DM thanked him for being so cooperative and you know what happened when they came to the party next week? The same DM bent over backwards to give him a prime hard point and lots of space to work.

I’m sure there are several more rules that should be mentioned, but the long and short of it is this. Respect other people’s space and use common courtesy. You would be amazed at how far being polite and respectful will get you.