Monday, May 09, 2005

The unused toy

There is a toy in my rope bag that gets no play. None at all. Amongst the clips, clamps, gags, carabineers, nose hooks, chopsticks, and gags it sits there, as shiny as the day it was made.

The ass hook

While I was showing the contents of my bag to someone this weekend, she picked it up, looked at it funny. When I told her what it was she immediately dropped it and did that whole body shudder thing.

“What is a nice sadist like you doing with such an evil thing in your rope bag?” you ask.

You see, the guy who makes our stainless steel suspension rings also makes these outrageous hooks that you, well that you insert into someone pussy or ass and then tie that hook into the rigging. The pussy hook is a larger diameter tube in the shape of a “J” with some strategic tie points. The ass hook is more like, well a rounded hook with an eye on the end to tie to.

Now he has been trying to convince me to carry these items as part of our normal product line. I’ll be honest and admit that I’m not fully convinced that this sort of toy is really what my customers would like. However in the spirit of continuous product improvement (and the quest for outrageous sex toys), Griffin and I agreed to pick up a set and give them a try to see how we liked working with them.

We drew straws, he got the hook for the front and I took the one for the rear.

Thing is, everyone I play with has flat out refused to even discuss playing with it. “Hell no” is their usual response. So complete is their disapproval that it has become a sort of joke. I offer them a choice between two toys, one I want to play with and the hook, knowing that they will choose the former over the hook.
Me: “Ok so I’ll give you a choice, tonight we can play with the lawn gnome or the hook, what will it be?”
Them: “fuck...Not the...oh ok, the gnome... You know you will have to sleep sometime, then, then I’m going to smother you with a pillow!

And so I’m a bit ashamed to admit it, but this thing has been ratting about in my rope back for almost 2 months and it is still un-tested. While not something I would want to use often and most certainly not something I would use in a suspension scene, well maybe it was carefully used as part of the body harness and not under any sort of weight bearing load perhaps. I am curious to put it to use.

There has got to be someone who wants to help test this out? Anyone? Bueller? Maybe I’ll find some rope slut at Shibaricon who wants to be my guinea pig?

UPDATE: I now carry this toy and others like it on my website.