Tuesday, June 07, 2005

On driving cross-country.
First off let it be known that driving is boring. The Midwest is flat, bland and really dull. After spending 10 plus hours a day in the car together for like 5 days straight, Griffin and I had some very odd conversations. Here are some snippets:

upon looking over and seeing Griffin holding the roadslut at 90mph
“Dude, if you get a speeding ticket the company is not paying for it.”
“Look around, we have a better chance of getting attacked by Indians than hitting a speed trap.”
I look out at the vast empty we have been driving through for the past 3 hours and shrug. “Good point, think this thing can do an even 100?”

“Wisconsin has the chunkiest road kill I have seen yet”

Along I-84, after getting cut off for the 10th time by some of the most aggressive semi drivers on earth
“What a bunch of fuckers!” I shout
“Goat Fuckers! The whole damn lot!” Shouts Griffin
“Worse than goat fuckers! They are Inconsiderate Goat Fuckers!”
“They don’t give any post care!”
“You don’t ca-al-al-al…”

“Somedays I just want to be Godzilla to her Tokyo and just knock shit over”

UPDATE: Griffin reminded me of this one tonight and I had to share it.
"I'm the Monk and all the world is my stage"
"No, more like all the world is your bukkae scene"