Wednesday, December 21, 2005

Phone Call

The following are lines from my side of a recent phone call with my mother.

“Being poly means that I have two partners that I sleep with, not that I’m sucking random cock in Volunteer Park”

“Oh 15 miles a week is not too hard. I listen to a lot of heavy metal music and think about what my ass is gonna look like. Yeah, anger and narcissism are powerful motivators.”

“Its called a Hitachi Magic Wand mom, millions of lesbians can’t be wrong…”

I must give the gal credit; she is really trying to make sense of all this new data.

In other news, Dancer turned me onto some new books. She has an amazing appetite for the written word and has this unique knack for finding just the right book for me at just the right time. From essays on leather activism to biographies of fellow rouges, I always find a new treasure waiting for me on her bedside table. Now I love this girl like mad, but I must confess that her current recommendation has me worried. Laurell K Hamilton’s Anita Blake, Vampire Hunter series. Dear god in heaven, what did they do? Print the pages on paper made from marijuana using heroin based inks?! Complete and utter book crack I tell you.

I tried to explain why I, a guy who can make a novel last a good month, is devouring these books!

Imagine that you are sitting in front of a HUGE plate of freshly made brownies. Not brownies from scratch mind you, but the kind from a box. You know that they aren’t the best brownies out there, but right now they taste really good. So you have one, it doesn’t taste too bad, warm and sweet. Then another and another, next thing you know you have a quarter of the pan gone and you think to yourself, “I don’t even like brownies that much, why the hell can’t I stop eating them? Oh maybe just one more…” Now half the pan is gone you have to resort to sticking them in the freezer, you know “out of sight, out of mind” but NOOOOOO! You know what happens next, come midnight it’s frozen brownies. By this point you don’t even like the brownies anymore but you just can’t stop till they are all gone...

Guess I know what I’ll be doing with part of my week off.