Thursday, January 12, 2006

A Bowling Ball Called “Wanda”

Like most healthy, sexually active adults I like porn and like said adults I look to the Internet as a source for said porn. Yes Billy, the net is really nothing more than a global pornography network. An amazing one, but one none the less. Now I see a lot of bondage porn on the net and frankly most of it makes me cringe. I usually warn folks who are thinking about kink to not take much of what they see too literally. Much like using Dutch porn to explain the birds and bees to your pre-teen daughter, it is really not an accurate representation of what really happens.

A huge percentage of the stuff out there is pure shit. Worthless crap that should never be attempted at home save those with the ability to do go for long periods with out feeling their extremities or folks who actually get off on standing around looking bored. Of course there is some choice stuff too, you just need to know where to look. Of course it always helps when you supply some of the best rope sites with all their custom hemp. Good stuff, creative stuff, stuff that makes me go “Damn, how did they do that and (more importantly) how can I replicate it?”
note to self, I really one day should list all the bondage sites I supply rope to and publish it

On one such site, a site famous for innovative and smoking hot rope scenes, I came across a series of images where they were using a large steel ball as part of a predicament bondage scene. Saving some of the choice images for later study, I thought to myself that a cannon ball scene would be way too much fun to do. The question was, where the hell would I find a cannonball with a ring welded into it?

On a lark I added it to my Christmas wish list. I really didn’t have any hopes that someone would actually pony up and find me one, but it did make for some interesting responses from my friends and lovers. Most of it followed more the, “Damn, you have a problem” or something along those lines. Christmas came and went and no ball was waiting under the tree for me. No worries, with scenes ideas like this it is not so much a question of if you are going to do it, but when.

Then I found Wanda. She was laying in the flowerbeds of Dancer’s new home. Hidden amongst a pile of other discarded objects the former owner did not want to haul away when they moved out, she was doomed for the trash man. That is until I spied her when I came to tour the new house for the first time. It must have been fate, because I nearly tripped over her when I stepped out of my car that rainy Seattle day. An old, marble colored ladies bowling ball! Looking down at the object I knew what must be done. I finally found my cannon ball. Of course I did need to make sure that it was ok with Dancer before I snatched up the item.

“As long as you swear that it will never be used in a scene with me, take it”, was her response. “No worries”, I assured her. I had someone else in mind for this little orb of deviance.

I’ve written to much for one day, the treadmill calls to me. We will pick this tale up again another day.