No, No I don’t really collect Hummel figurines

See it’s like this. Dancer and I have what we like to call, “A Switching Relationship”. Rather than take the classic SM roles of “Top” and “Bottom”, we tend to take turns and swap roles. This can take the form of one person crafting a complete scene and taking the reins all night or it can flow back and forth over the course of an evening as one gets a wicked idea in their heads and decides to act upon it. This is a good thing because I’m really not a very good bottom. In fact I sorta suck at it. Sure there are intense physical sensations that I enjoy, but that whole “yes mistress, no mistress” thing does not work for me. Now if I identified as a submissive or regularly bottomed, this might be a problem. Thankfully Dancer enjoys the fact that I’m not really a bottom.

So what the hell does this have to do with my supposed collecting of Hummel Figurines?

Well, you know when it is good? You know, your lover is doing something particularly evil and you encourage them to do more? How do you convey that? Sure I suppose you just say “please” or “green light” or even do the whole “Oh please mistress more!” routine. But not us. We tend to take the obnoxious route and say things like, “Oh is that the best you got?” or “What are you doing back there? Hitting me with a feather duster?” Of course having dated now for over 18 months, the insults have gotten a wee bit more … shall we say creative?

It is not uncommon to now hear the likes of,
“You call this bondage? You tie like Mr. Rogers! Where is your sweater?”
“Last time I checked, Fucker was not a safe word…”
Or my personal favorite, “Oh you’re not really such a bad ass are you? I bet you secretly collect Hummel figurines! Ohh look at the pretty bunnies and duckies!”

That one is pretty much guaranteed to make her laugh with delight and re-double her efforts to make me roar like a lion. Gotta love a gal who can laugh a rich warm, loving laugh and hurt you at the same time. I sure do.