Thursday, February 16, 2006

Delightfully Devious

We are almost all finished with the Body Bound Deathmarch, just one more day of oiling and packing and we will have ourselves a hefty quantity of rope to bring with us to Portland. Now along with all the rope, I like to bring shinny steel toys as well. The guy who makes my suspension rings also makes the most delightfully evil steel insertable toys. These items are really not our core focus so I opt to not offer them on the site, but when we go to shows I like to bring a few along.

While most of his toys fall into the “You want to put that in my what?!” category. I have already blogged about the “ass hook” he makes, but my favorite steel toy of his is this.

Its called a piton and it is basically a small steel insertable (usually in the ass) that you can tie to the body. Most of the women who have been on the receiving end of this item loved it. The small shape makes for a less intimidating experience while the act of having a butt plug tied to you such that it will not pop out and any movement elsewhere on the rope will cause the item to react is well… well that is just really hot. I was quite satisfied with mine till a lovely girl from Texas asked me, “Does it come in an XL?”

Don’t ya just love overachievers?

So I commissioned the maker to design me a much larger version and yesterday when he delivered the rest of the steel toys he delivered this.

Can you say wow? Talk about an imposing toy. Yeah, this makes my evil heart sing with joy. Now the next problem with a steel toy is heat. See part of the appeal of steel is the look and feel of stainless steel- cold, shinny and unyielding. Problem is, while the piton starts off cold once inserted into the body it will quickly raise to the ambient temperature. Hmm how to keep it cold? I thought about perhaps making some kind of custom ice cubes wrapped in condoms that could then be inserted into the hollow end of the piton? Then it was my friend Jester, you remember him right? The guy who could kill a man armed only with a taco sauce packet.

His suggestion, “Well you could just use a wee bit of liquid nitrogen in a short burst, that would drop the temp in a heart beat.”

Now while I consult my medical friends on how one might do this and not wind up with the "tounge stuck to the flagpole" sort of thing, let me just say how much I love my friends?

Oh and did I mention that these also conduct electricity? This is the place where I do the evil laugh and dance about with sadistic glee.