OK, I’ll admit it. I love bad horror flicks. Some will say that they are a blight, a pox on modern cinema that has clogged our screens with crap and contributed to the continual decline of our culture’s collective IQ. (And they probably have a valid point.) I however adore them, there is something very relaxing about sitting back, putting the old brain in park and enjoying the ride. In some ways I guess you could say that watching a horror flick is a bit like bottoming. As a viewer, we know the rules of the genre and we know that when we buy our ticket that we are giving up control to the director and saying to them, “ok big boy, do your worst”. (A good director knows this, and will play to that) Needless to say this time of year, that dead space between Oscar season and the summer blockbusters, is a great for bad movie fans. See this is the time when the movie studios send all their “less” than perfect films to theaters. Sure you get another bad sequel to a remake of a prequel of a movie based on a video game character, but also some gems of crappy cinema get some much deserved screen time.
Last night, after a particularly long and bone weary week, Tambo and I decided to hop down to the local multi-plex and walk into whatever movie was showing next. The winner, Underworld:Evolution. Not having seen the original we were pretty confident that we could pick up the story ok. Vampires vs. werewolves and a hot chick in a cat suit with automatic weapons blowing shit up…cool.
Now to just give you a glimpse into the level of Tambo and I’s nerdieness, after the film we spent the better part of dinner discussing the tactical merits and weaknesses of a war between said werewolves and vampires based on the historical evidence (ie, what we have seen in other movies). The end result of said debate? We had to obtain the first Underworld film and watch it, that night. Mind you that it is now 7pm on a Sunday night. After hitting not one, not two, but three stores we finally found said film and watched it, curled up together in bed with our cat and dog tucked in at our feet.
The final analysis, vampires are inherently more sexy creatures and tap into our lust to be so. Werewolves, while more powerful creatures, are dammed to forever be painted as tragic characters and Tambo is the most wonderful nerd in the world.
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