Tuesday, April 04, 2006

Time to hit the giant, “Monk Re-Set” button

Sunday was supposed to be my day off. We normally vend at Max’s monthly bondage classes, but this one was less about the technical aspects and focused more on the mental and spiritual elements of rope bondage. So rather than getting up early and carting out as much stock as we could manage we decided to take the day off and attend the class as students and the following Bondage is the Point party. A rather quaint idea really, we get to sit back and enjoy a very good presentation by two very talented and accomplished presenters. Heck, there were even photos of my work in the presentation. Thing was, I could not sit still. Unfocused, I fiddled with the length of new rope I just got from Germany, made production notes in the little leather-bound journal I always carry and generally felt… well anxious. I hate that feeling, the lack of focus; the feeling like my brain and my body are not in synch, but rather at odds with each other. Time to get my ass kicked.

People bottom for a variety of reasons. Me, I find it works best at those times when the stress gets to be too much. When the demands and deadlines of this life I have chosen for myself go from being challenging to flat out overwhelming, that is when I need to let go. I need to scream, cuss, snarl, bleed and eventually lay spent, sobbing in the arms of Dancer, the one girl who knows just how to find that button. Armed with nothing but her teeth, fists and a few well placed needles she did just that. Thanks babe, I so needed that.

Later I would re-join my beloved Tambo and lounge with her on the sofas that surround the play areas at the wetspot. Curled into her and sort of purring, she would stroke my head and ask me, “you feeling better now?”
“Good, I get so worried about you when you get like that. Remind me to thank Dancer”