Nerdy and Alex just gave me a birthday card that reads:

To: The Most Fucked up Father a Girl Could Want

To: Great Fucker, Sadistic Son-of-a-Bitch Who Gave Me Second Degree Burns

To: Mister Sassy Mc Ego-Pants

To: Gleeful Bastard

To: The Corruptor of My Young Adulthood

To: The Reason I sometimes have to lie about what I did on the weekend

To: The Reason I often have to lie about what I do for a living

To: “That’s MISTER Jesus Christ to you”

To: Big Bad Daddy Monk

From: Your Adoring Leather Children

Think that was cool? Just wait till you see what was inside the box.