And now a note from your Kinky Ms Manners

When at a public play party you will see (if you are lucky) a wide variety of play going on. While most folks are pretty hip to the behavior around your classic “scene”, as in person x is tying up/ flogging or generally being delightfully mean to person y. What about those D/s scenes that may not follow such a clear delineation between when folks are actually in a scene and not? For those who may not be familiar with D/s play it is, in short, play were one person gives up their free will to another for a period of time. This may be manifest at an event by person x wearing a collar around their neck, kneeling in front of person y and generally having ALL their attention devoted to the person with whom they have given their submission to.

First off, just because there are not floggers falling or rope out, respect the scene’s space. Just the act of putting a collar on another human and the building of the dominant/submissive headspace is a scene unto itself. A smart person will respect this space and approach with caution. Address the top directly and only after asking permission, speak to the bottom.

Next, respect the role/gender / space that the players are in at the time. If the person is in pony gear and introduced to you as “Bob the pony”, don’t argue to the contrary. Smile, ask the top if you may scratch behind the pony’s ear and respect the role that they have chosen for their scene.

And the big one. Never, under any circumstances, ever, EVER touch a bottom/submissive with out first asking permission from the top. Uninvited touching is just plain rude and is always to be avoided, but uninvited touching while someone is wearing a collar and giving themselves to another person is a huge, gross violation and you are lucky if you don’t get snarled at or worse.

While this may seem overly formal, you may not know what the rules or nature of the D/s dynamic is at the time, everyone’s play is different. So a bit of formality goes a long way in helping to not disrupt the mood that the players are trying to create.

In the end, an ounce of common sense and respect goes a long way here.