Monday, November 06, 2006

John Tesh is the erection killer

Will someone please tell me who sent the memo that reads, “when hosting a bondage event, play only world music” so I can go gouge his eyes out with the shards of a broken Kitaro CD? I go to a lot of rope events around the country and it seems like everyone got the same damn memo. I know, I know rope events tend to have a more “mellow” vibe to them and the music should reflect that. Yes, I know that everyone’s musical taste is different and trying to meet everyone’s musical needs is next to impossible. To this I also I agree.

However, this is my blog, its been raining sideways for three days straight and I have not had enough coffee yet so pardon me while I get on my digital soapbox this morning.

Look, rope bondage has deep roots in Asia but this does not mean that we are required to listen to something you picked up in the world music section of Pier One. I don’t know about the rest of you, but I find the nonstop droning of a bamboo flute (didgeridoo, Mongolian throat singers, or god help us Gregorian chant) is the musical equivalent of a cold shower. Total and utter erection killer, folks. I don’t take off my shoes and kneel contemplatively on a mat when I tie. Rather, I wear freshly polished boots and prowl like a cat around my partner.

The assumption that bondage, in order to be a “true” and “genuine”, must be performed to non-western music is just old and played out. I’ve had some amazing, powerfully connected scenes that were scored to the sounds of Type O Negative, NiN, and Muse.

Update your ipods folks, there is a time and place for the pan flute but would it kill ya to play something made by angry white men using machines once and while?

Update, Nerdy is trying to lure me away from the keyboard with promises of more coffee and the download of the new Who CD from I-tunes…