Overheard while cutting rope:
Monk: *Yawn*
Coffee Bitch: So you had a bit too much of the rockstar weekend I take it?
Monk: Well on Friday night there were four slightly inebriated Asians in my living room playing rockband. Then on Saturday I assaulted a dear friend of mine with a dildo mounted sawzal.
CB: Did you just say a sawzal?
Monk: Yeah, as in reciprocating saw with a rather large fake cock mounted on the business end.
CB: Sounds dangerous.
Monk: Could be, but I was wearing eye protection. The big risk is cramping in the forearms from having to hold it for so long while it is jamming away. Those things can shake filling loose if you turn them up too high. However once I figured out how to brace it against my hip it was not too bad.
CB: Um, yeah right.... on that note I think I'll go make us more coffee!