So yesterday I was forced to pack it in early, a very rare migraine put my ass down for the day. Not regularly prone to such things, when it happened I was casually mentioning to Tambo, "wow, my vision is going all wonky and it smells funny..." that was before the phalanx of dawrven miners took up residence in my sinuses and begun pounding away. Not fun, thankfully these things are pretty rare for me, but count me out for the day none the less.
Thankfully I happen to have some pretty effective, ahem, tools for dealing with such things. So there I was, stoned outta my ever loving mind, flat on my back, and bored to fucking tears. Being in pain is one thing, being numb and bored? I think that may suck worse. Anyways, too mentally incapacitated to operate anything more complex than my zipper and not tracking data too well I fell back into the warm, inviting arms of an old foe. The Maury Povitch show. Oh sweet Maury, your how your deeply creased face seems so inviting, yet somehow reminiscent of Emperor Palaptine in a powder blue sweater....
I once, a long time ago, suffered a powerful Maury addiction. Like a junkie twitching in a doorway, I needed my daily fix. Rest assured, over the course of my life I have ingested some pretty outrageous things, but this was far worse than any pharmacological or chemical compound, that man had me in his clutches. Why you ask? How could someone like me suffer such an affliction to a daytime TV show? I think this best explains it, a video clip taken one night early in the days of the Abbey. I'm ranting about why I loved to what the show so much.
I think you will agree, those were some dark and desperate days for your humble narrator. Fortunately with the help of my loving partners, an all consuming job and us not owning a TV for 3 years, I was finally able to rid that particular monkey from my back.
Today the pain in my melon seems to have vacated and the painkillers, having done their job, are no longer dulling my faculties and slowing my speech. No, this morning as I type this and sip my coffee, NPR is playing in the background talking about smart people things and in between edits I'll pop over to the BBC news to get their take on the world. Confident that my brain, now returned to me, no longer craves the sugar fix that is Maury.... for now.
But like any addiction, you are never truly healed.