Wednesday, September 16, 2009

Lay the smack down!
How many times have we seen this in porn? The dude is fucking her from behind and in between strokes he sorta halfheartedly swats her ass, usually in the exact same spot and much to the obvious annoyance of his co-star he continues to do so till it is time for his money shot. What, you don’t watch porn? What the hell is wrong with you?! I mean damn, what else is the internet for besides porn and Nigerian bank scams?

Well for those of you who don’t seem to enjoy the digital smut, let me fill you in on a little trend that is happening in “mainstream” pornography. More and more elements of sm play are leaking into straight porn, you see more and more spankings, face slapping and the occasional choke hold. Now I am not going into the last 2 items here as they will take much more blog space than I have time today, but suffice to say these things normally seen only in kink porn are now being seen by consumers of “vanilla” porn and frankly they are getting a terrible education if they think swatting a gal’s ass repeatedly in the same damn spot while fucking her is normal, or even welcome.

Over the course of my personal and professional career as a pervert, it has been my pleasure to deliver a number of spankings and I’ve grown to become an aficionado of the art. So here, let me share 3 important rules for giving a fun, sexy and hot spanking.

1) A good spanking can be a scene unto itself. While the guys in porn seem to think that the only time you should swat her on her ass is while you are jackhamering her from behind like a muppet on meth, sometimes it is the spanking that should be the focus of the scene. Like how you ask? I’ve aided wayward students when they have lost their motivation to finish a thesis paper. Visited very high powered executives in their penthouse offices and delivered a sound debriefing from behind closed board room doors and right now I’m rather looking forward to spending an evening playing out a “Mad Men” inspired dinner date where the host gets put over my knee for dessert.
2) Location, location, location. Now logic would dictate that one should want to strike the largest, meatiest part of the ass. Hence most folks tend to aim for what I like to call the “high and outside” area and usually end up hitting closer to where the hip joint is. This tends to mostly just sting and annoy. Instead aim low, right between the cheeks and just above the ass hole. This is the “sweet spot” where you can get a nice, meaty thump when you strike and the shock wave is felt in the person’s tingly bits. Now don’t suffer from SDS or “Same DAMNED Spot”, syndrome either. Target your strikes with varied speed and intensity around the sweet spot, even edging a bit into the high and outside territory, but focus on the good spot.
3) Connect. Maybe it is just me and how I tend to interact to my world through touch and texture, but bringing my hand down on a bare bottom. Feeling it connect and the warmth as skin flushes red, hearing that resonating smack and responding yelp is… is just wonderful. While I have an insane arsenal of floggers, canes and other such impact toys, nothing is quite as satisfying and connecting as my hand on the exposed flesh of another. Holding them close as they wriggle and squirm in both anticipation and in hopes of escaping the next blow… just makes me happy. Don’t stand back, a spanking is an up close and personal act.

Of course, once their ass has been soundly made into a bright red bundle of hand prints… feel free to jackhammer it like a muppet on meth …