Wednesday, December 23, 2009

“I’ll deal with that, after the death march”
“get right on that, AFTER the death march”
“I know, I know… just a few more days and I’ll be clear of the death march and then I’ll…”

That has been my blanket response to everything for the past 3 odd weeks, just leave me be till I get through the big holiday push (and by the way, thank you this season was extra amazing and the minion and I thank you) so now here we are… after the death march.

Now what, Monk?

Well the first thing I am going to do is take down this damn calendar that I’ve been forced to stare at all year. Ok, ok, so it is a nice calendar with all the fuzzy endangered animals on it that I should be feeling guilty for killing off. On a side note, ever notice how we never try to save the really ugly animals? You ever see a Pacific Rock Fish? Ugly mofo, but they will never get a calendar to help their plight, nope just the cute ones.. but I digress. I’m so looking forward to ripping that calendar down and replacing it with my new one, The 2010 NYC Hot Blogger calendar.

Yeah, I’m looking forward to enjoying some very sexy bloggers all year and knowing that the proceeds are also going to the rocking folks at Sex Worker Awareness makes it extra cool in my book. What, you don’t have one of these yet? Are you stupid or just lazy? Well get off your ass and go buy one, now. I’ll wait.

I’m still waiting…

...what are you on dial up?!

So now then, where was I? Oh yes, the New Year and what is next on the agenda. Well, next stop for me is Vegas.

That’s right, Vegas Baby!

What am I doing in Vegas, besides chasing down all the free shrimp cocktails and hitting the nickel slots? Perhaps I’m going to try my hand at working in one of the new all male brothels? Nope, somehow I’ve coned my way into getting, get this, press credentials with CarnalNation.Com. That’s right, me, a member of the “free press”… ok you can all stop laughing now, really I mean it, stop, you are hurting my feelings.

Truth be told, I’m not so much a member of the press as I am the baby sitter, body guard and all around arm candy for The Urban Gypsy and Ms Debauched Diva. I know, putting me in charge of keeping those two out of trouble is like putting Dracula in charge of the blood bank. In addition to reporting from the whole skin circus that will be the AVN awards, chasing down every cutie I can find and tying them up, I’ve also been asked to teach again.

I posted a description of the class here and the first comment I got was, “dude, $50 bucks for a class with you? I would not cross the street to pee on you if you were on fire for $50 bucks.”

Thanks mom, you say the sweetest things.

As for the rest of you? Tune in tomorrow and I’ll give ya the skinny on why this is going to be an amazing class.

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