Look at me, ma! I'm all "high-brow" and crap!
Let me begin by saying I am not a "writer", nope not by any stretch of the imagination. A writer is someone who has both something to say as well as the skill to deliver said message with grace and deft turn of phrase. My darling lover, Matisse is a writer, a damn fantastic one in fact and I'm rather envious of her ability to consistently deliver a high quality blog and column on a regular basis.
Me? I'm an entertainer, a story teller, in another life I was probably a bard. Telling my tales in some mid-evil Inn to half drunken travelers en-route to a lost city or holy crusade. When I sit down to write here, my goal when I put words to paper is to illicit a laugh. Add some good, old fashioned physical comedy into the mix and I'm in heaven. Now if you actually *learn* something or, heaven help you, you find what I say insightful?
Left to my own devices I'd probably resort to what Monty Python's Eric Idle calls "the two oldest, most universal forms of humor", The fart joke and dressing up in drag."
Now how the hell I ended up sharing a stage at the In the Flesh Reading last month, with some very talented "writers", we are talking folks who have books published and such, is beyond me. Somebody somewhere convinced the host, Rachel Kramer Bussel that I had something worthwhile to tell (lord knows she won't make that mistake again). But I was there, wearing pants even, and true to form, I had one goal in mind. Make em laugh and leave em wanting more.
That was two goals wasn't it? I was never good at math, probably why I ended up getting a degree in propaganda... but I digress.
The story I am reading is taken from one of my all time favorite blog posts, one that while funny in text, I have always thought would be best if done live.
So here is it, me doing "The Perils of Penetration" live.
Who knows, maybe there is a future show here? Me drinking and ranting for 60 minutes about scrotum slapping and bacon... hmmm?