Freya, who among other things seems to have an unnatural attraction to my kilt, writes to ask:

You've written about this but I wanted to ask you about it in more detail - The rope, it's obviously more than just sex, more than just power over another - how do those two things connect? I know they don't always

Ahh the rope. I get this question a lot and have been thinking about the why. Why do I do it? What about her naked form, bound in wrap after wrap of rope, makes my brain buzz with delight?

The best metaphor I can come up with is to think of it like a smell. When I’m binding her and she slowly gives into the rope, which is an extension of me, she begins to give off a certain sent. Not the smell of sex, per se, but rather the smell of submission. She is letting go, going off somewhere and giving her physical body to me. That smell, that smell is the heroin of rope tops. In that moment, like a shark smelling blood in the water, I become drunk on her submission. I’m certain if you were watching me that would be the point when my eyes roll back and my canines sharpen. When she lets go, I know that I can do anything to her. This is a powerful, intoxicating and dangerous moment.

While insanely erotic, it does not always have to be a sexual thing. Sure, I could fuck her. Have my way in any manner that I like, but there is something more. In the past I would have argued that this was the natural next step. That the rope was just a form of foreplay, but lately that has begun to change for me. Maybe I want to enjoy this moment and watch her float, blissed out of her mind on endorphins? Or by taking a fist full of hair I can shift the tone from zen like peace and bring her back to reality with a single swift sudden burst pain? It is the fact that I can do this and to watch, nay feed on, her response that makes it hot.

And the really amazing bit? I think I have finally figured out that you don’t always have to fuck them to get this. Sure, when you have a sexual relationship (as opposed to a non-sexual “play only” relationship) with your bottom where the scene goes next is limited only by your desires. However, when done well, it is all about the rope and where it takes you and your partner.