Tuesday, February 12, 2008

A reader's pressing question.
Hola :)
Husband and I are just starting (rather belatedly, I think *sigh*) to explore bondage as a Fun Thing with me as the bound, and I'm having a wee problem with...well...wee. As in, the persistent and distracting need to pee almost as soon as I am secured to something. Doesn't seem to matter if I peed ten times the hour before, and not had anything to drink...I always feel like I need to once I'm tied. Which is a little strange to me, given the fact that I'm the girl who used to drive for 12 hours …There are a couple of contributing factors that I can identify...1) Husband is a beginner and not very quick at tying me down, so it takes a while for us to get to the actual "playing" part; 2) I'm pushing 40 and have birthed 2 kids and the girl bits aren't quite as, um, taut as they used to be (though I don't have any pelvic floor problems any other time, and actually exercise those muscles regularly); 3) I drink tons of water all day …Still, I suspect it's more a psychological thing than physiological, and I'm wondering if there are any suggestions from the bondage community on dealing with it.

PS "Just pee" isn't really an option.. thought of it, but don't think that either of us would find that the least bit appealing.,,,

Well you may be asking the wrong guy this question. I’m one of those sick bastards who rather enjoys it when she starts to squirm and has been known sit back and laugh as she fidgets and swears at me to untie her so she can go pee, only to pick her up bodily and tie her down to the toilet.

Yes, I am a bastard and I’m going straight to hell, thank you drive thru.

However I did ask a number of my female friends in the bondage community for their thoughts on the matter and they all seemed to fall into two camps. The physical ones who all said, “Kegelcisor” apparently this will help strengthen those muscles and not only give better bladder control, but also as an added benefit reward you with some killer orgasms as well.

The psychological camp weighed in and suggested a number of things. First and foremost are you confusing arousal and excitement with the urge to pee? The anticipation, the adrenaline and such all sending mixed signals that you are interpreting as the need to go. When he does finally untie you and you go, is it a lot or just a little? Others suggested that this was much like the having your nose itch as soon as you have frosting covering both hands and the best way to deal with it is to just breathe through it and focus on relaxing. Heck. One pointed out that she too experienced this, but after learning to relax and go with it, the resulting orgasms were much more intense.

So there you have it, you are not alone in what you are experiencing and no matter what advice you choose to take they both seem to have “better orgasm” as a side benefit.

Now not having the appropriate hardware, I can’t give you my opinion on the matter, but rather here are some thoughts from the top’s perspective on how you might address this in play with out having it kill the flow of your scene. First thought would be to use modular bondage, rather than one long piece of rope use several short ones. That way if you do need to go, he only needs to untie specific parts of the bondage. My next thought would be to incorporate this into the play, "I’ll only untie you and let you go after you (insert evil act here) for me." Heck, all else fails bondage in the bathroom can be pretty damned hot, those hand rails on “accessible” bathrooms makes awesome tie down points.. not that I would know anything about that, officer.

As for the “just pee” option, ya never know you say that it is not erotic to you, but ya never know till you try… but that is a topic for another day.