Tuesday, May 06, 2008

8-Ball In The Corner Pocket

So lets talk about that giant ass hook I have been seen brandishing as of late. You know this one, the one with the amazing 2 inch wide ball on the end? The one that most folks look at and sorta wince? Well it would seem that a fine young lady of my acquaintance, upon experiencing said hook up close and in the flesh (as it were) expressed her disappointment with said ball. In fact she went as far as to say to me, “Ya know, I sorta thought it would be bigger”

Let me tell you, no man likes to hear those words, ever.

So while I made a mental note to request a 4 inch version, I had to do something to save face. Hence the threat, a quick laughing off the cuff sort of thing really, of stuffing multiple pool balls into her ass next time I got the chance. This, this dear reader was the wrong thing to say. See, the sexy woman in question is rather proud of her backside and it’s, how shall I delicately put it, capacity.

Her response was to laugh and tell me that if I can figure out how to do it with out the scene ending in an emergency room, I was more than welcome to have at it.

Can pause and I just say how much I love my life?

Anyways, I had not put much thought into that exchange until last week when a box arrived for me at the Abbey. Inside, a brand new set of regulation pool balls with a little note that read, “The ball(s) in your court”. Yes, dear readers, the gauntlet had been thrown and my ego (and libido) were now firmly committed to the idea of taking her up on her most generous offer, of course the responsible top that I am still had yet to first answer some very important safety questions. I needed to consult an expert, namely a gay friend of mine who “flagged red”, if anyone knew the ins and outs of extreme anal play it would be him.

We discussed the various options for just how to secure said balls so that they could be safely retrieved and not run afoul of any of the delicate tissues and, most importantly, not send the girl into the hospital with a perforated colon. So after much conversation and weighing of the all the safety factors to be considered, he paused and asked one very probing question that I had yet factor into my planning.
“It would seem to me,” He said thoughtfully stroking his goatee,”that you have yet to answer one very important question.”
“Well… I thought I had the major ones down, but what am I missing?” I ask with concern.
“Stripes or solids?” He chuckles, “I mean are you playing 8-ball? Cut throat? What happens when you sink the cue ball?”

This gives the whole “Ball in hand” rule a whole new twist now don’t it?

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