the many faces

the many faces
Originally uploaded by Mr Monk

at tambos work party. one dudes cubucle is an altar to the many faces of michael jackson.

el gallon rojo and morticia

el gallon rojo and morticia
Originally uploaded by Mr Monk

me and tambo on halloween

Happy Birthday to Tambo!

Today marks the birthday of my most awesome wife, first love, biggest fan and best friend Tambo.

Love you, babe.

The most brilliant and yet so terribly wrong thing I saw this weekend.

This weekend I was fortunate enough to be invited to some very interesting parties. Being this close to Halloween, these were of course costume themed parties. Normally I’m not much of a fan of the whole “dressing up on Halloween thing”, lets face is when you get to dress up in fetish attire whenever you like (and get paid to do so) going out of your way to do it come the end of October just seems to loose its sparkle.

That said I certainly respect a good costume and this weekend I saw some, wow, lets just leave it at “wow”

Yes, the obvious Sarah Palin as a dominatrix complete with a John McCain in a collar and leash was a high light. Then there was my dear friend who just about killed me when she showed up at a party wearing a tiara and a vial of something oddly yellow wedged between her most ample bosoms. When asked who she was, “Oh you know, the Princess and the Pee” was her blasé response. So, so wrong.

However that so does not match what I saw when I popped into check on some friends who were throwing a party in the warehouse. This was to be a quick drive by, share a quick toast to the season and then head home after a long day. Instead they insisted that I stay and help judge to costume contest.

Of the usual assortment of scantly clad, politically incorrect and just plain cool one just killed us all, A note for note perfect rendition of old school Princess Leia from Star Wars, you know the white dress and cinnamon rolls on her head? Yeah that one.

Oh, did I mention that the girl sporting the costume was also black?

When it was her turn to take center stage and show off her costume, what does she do but drop down on one knee and in the most outrageously incorrect southern drawl, belts out “Oh hep me Ooobeee One! Yous Mah only hopes!”

All we could do was stare, jaws agape at the sheer wrongabilty of what we just witnessed, and then with out skipping a beat she leaps up, gives us a wink and shouts out in her crisp, clear voice.

“Gotcha!”

We didn’t even have to vote for a winner as everyone, including the other contestants burst into roaring applause and laughter.

its not easy being so beautiful

its not easy being so beautiful
Originally uploaded by Mr Monk

matisse in a candid moment as we indulge in a bit of self pampering.

Hey, how about a new how-to video?

The much hinted at how to where yours truly plays demo bottom to the always fabulous Midori... and ends up being ridden like a hobby horse.



I have one more video that I would like to finish up and then I think we will press "getting started volume 2" to DVD in time for Christmas.

She dubed it "The Boss"

yet more steel...
Originally uploaded by Mr Monk

Remember that new ball end pussy hook I was posted? I asked a sweet girl to give her review of what it was like to be on the receiving end of this 2in steel bad boy.

The Boss

When I was asked to give this new bit of hardware a trial run, I was delighted. I love the asshook from the same creator, and how could a pussy-hook not be just as fun? I did anticipate some differences, though- I really enjoy the rock-solid presence of that steel invader in my ass because I like to be able to rock myself around on it, relishing the exquisite sensitivity of my ass being stretched by that big ball. But when it comes to my pussy, I prefer the action to be much harder and faster than grinding on a ball, so I wondered just how well I’d like the feel of this new hook. Short answer- wow, did I like it!

Warm or cool, this steel toy is a bit intimidating- it’s hard to see anything but that ball. No fear, so in it went- at two inches it’s quite manageable, but there’s no way I was going to be able to forget its unyielding presence. It created a delicious feeling of fullness that was totally different from a nice hard cock; but to my great pleasure, the fullness was centered right on my g-spot. Better and better! The sharp bend in the hook meant that the nice long haft of the hook was right close to my belly, at least when I could hold still, and was nice to hold on to. I could twist that ball around deep in my pussy and focus on my g-spot. The tie points at the top of the haft and at the sharpest bend of the hook means that it could be secured in a range of positions, even more if a pass or two of rope went over the center of the haft.

The genius of the toy comes from its size and presence. It can be vigorously manipulated by your play partner- this had me squirting in no time, it was just exquisite. And guess what happens if a vibrating Hitachi is applied to the outside of this bad boy? Oh yes, the vibrations were carried deep inside me, right onto my g-spot, and had me squirming anew; it literally made my whole world contract right down to my pussy and that hook.

There really aren’t any drawbacks to this toy that I can think of. There may be smaller (or larger) sizes if two inches is too much (or too little). Any discomfort from the position of the hook can easily be remedied by good communication and a little adjustment. And because it’s steel, it should clean easily for a long time.

When I was given a moment to recover now and then, I had to declare the new toy ‘bossy’. Much more than the asshook, this pussy hook was highly assertive; it demanded my attention and literally bossed my body around. I give it a complete thumbs-up, and can’t wait for an excuse to get one of my own.


Note: at this time, this item is available by special order only. $199.99

October's Color of the Month is now on sale.
Get it while it is hot.

...and the winner is.

I gotta say, when I posted that chess playing photo last week I had no idea that it would be SO popular. So what comment made me laugh the most? Frankly there were so many that I could not pick one single one as the best. So, here are my favorite, you vote and tell me what one YOU think is best.

siidewalk philosophy

siidewalk philosophy
Originally uploaded by Mr Monk

spotted this while walking downtown tonight and thought it interesting.

That’s Mr. Dork To You…


So last night as I was gearing up to throw a scene for a patron and taking one last look in the mirror to make sure my “uniform” was right. Knee high motorcycle boots, polished to a mirror gloss? Check. Skin tight faded jeans? Check. Studded belt, freshly sharpened Kershaw knife, fingerless gloves tucked in back pocket? Check, check and check. Time to engage “bad ass” mode and thrash some sweet girl.

Of course it is hard to be fully serious when delivering a scene while wearing a shirt that boldly proclaims “Boy Sluts of America!”

Yeah, for as much as I love to play the big, bad wolf when I play truth is that deep down inside I’m a serious dork. Don’t believe me? Let me see… I’m obsessed with the Sgt Pepper’s album, like to the point I can point out all the bands that have tried to re-create the damn thing. (Panic at the Disco, anyone?)

Still don’t believe me?

Ok, up till I was probably in the 1st or 2nd grade I could not for the life of me figure out how to put my shoes on the proper feet. I blame my mom for making me wear hippy shoes as a child, but I always seemed to get the left shoe on the right and vice versa. Not wanting to think her child was “special” and march me off to the short bus, my enterprising mother came up with a rather brilliant idea to fix the problem. She took a fat red magic marker and drew a set of lips on inside edge of each shoe. When the lips matched up and my shoes were kissing each other, I knew I had it right.

Actually kinda pretty brilliant in hindsight?

So yes, while I delight in squaring my shoulders up and ripping into the eager flesh of pretty girls with sadistic delight…. Deep down I’m still that toe headed kid in tough skin jeans and the kissing sneakers.

Lifetime of regrets vs. the regret of a lifetime?

Chatting today with a friend and the topic of regret came up. Now, I’m not going to be one of those types who claim to have “no regrets” you know, the whole “no regrets no remorse” thing is a little too macho and played out for me. Sure, I have things that I regret doing. Times when I lost my cool or situations that, in hindsight, could have been dealt with in a bit more diplomatic of fashions. However what I strive to not have is the regret of NOT doing something. That, that I think is the real killer. The thing that will haunt you till your dying days, that gnawing wonder of “what if”.

Of all the lessons my father taught me, the one that stayed with me the most was this. Around the time he was my age things were going quite well for him. Work was good, his boss liked him and just gave him a pretty hefty raise as well as a larger portion of the company to manage. Thing was, he was unsatisfied working for someone else, deep down he knew he could do it better, be more successful and make more money. Thing was in order to do it he would have to start from zero. Loose the posh office, expense accounts, company car, and relocate to a desk in our living room and try to build a company from scratch and a few dollars he had put aside. This, this was madness. His peers were thinking about buying sports cars and vacation homes, not forming startups. When asked, he told me this. “I don’t want to reach the end of my life and look back at it and wonder what would have happened if I never stepped off the safe path? I never want to regret not taking the chance”

Now this does mean one should go out and do every stupid thing that pops into one’s head in the hopes of not having regrets. Rather, to me at least, it seems that when faced with a tough choice, a choice that could lead to great happiness or possibly to great heart ache, one should never choose to not make the choice. This life is fraught with regret; of things we should have done differently it is the regret of not doing something, of staying on the safe and well lit path that is to be avoided. At the end of your days, who wants to look back and wonder “if only I took the chance?”

2 great tastes

2 great tastes
Originally uploaded by Mr Monk

always pushing the envelope. jester attepts to combine the 2 most powerful taste sensations in the universe. this could bring about a massive leap in our understanding of pastry science or it could end the universe as we know it.

big bawls...

big bawls...
Originally uploaded by Mr Monk

this would be a 3 in and 4 inch ball that just came in for the xxxl ass hooks that were requested. omfg

Turning into one of those insane weeks here at the Abbey. A massive pile of orders just poised to go out the door, 2 partners sick and one out of town, and Monk dashing about with that wild look in his eyes as I try to get it all done on time and on target.

So... while I put out fires today and try not to overdose on coffee, why don't we play the "post a comment, make Monk laugh, win a prize"? So here goes. The best tag line to this photo gets free rope from yours truly.

The Great Debate

With this being the election season, the air is thick with debate. Seems like you can't toss a pundit in this town with out hitting someone deeply held opinions about the matters of the day. Even here at the Abbey we are not immune. Yesterday I walked into the shop to find my crew locked in a tense discussion.

"Ok, so if the piece of skin that separates your scrotum from you ass is called the taint"
"yes, sometimes also referred to the land bridge or even the choad, but only by those with little couth"
"Then what do you call the space between your tailbone and your ass? Does it even deserve a name?"

Would you belive this nearly derailed production for a good 20 minutes?