Thursday, August 27, 2009

The new "Color" of the month!

Golden brown is a color isn't it?
"Exotic 3-Strand Bavarian lil-sister"

For this month we are going to do something different, rather than a one time, limited edition color rope we are offering a one time, limited edition EXOTIC rope. Our suppliers in Germany sent us a custom rope stock run. Just like our ultra premium 4 strand Bavarian hemp, but with only 3 strands. Why is this so awesome you ask?

Just like our 4 strand rope, this is ultra soft and a rich golden yellow color. In addition to the trademark smell of freshly cut hay, you can’t beat this price too.

We only have a very limited quantity and when it is gone, it will be gone for good.

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Wednesday, August 26, 2009


Tambo and Monk, 21 Years Today

Yep, it was 21 years ago that Tambo and I got married, a couple of kids fresh out of high school who had a lot of dreams and not much sense. Somehow, we have managed to grow up together, change, evolve, make it through college, multiple career changes, come out as kinky, be successfully poly, and weather all manner of storms together.

How did we manage this? I honestly have no earthly idea, Tam has been my dearest and best friend since I met her when I was a freshman in. My guess is that she has yet to find a wood chipper large enough to stuff me into :)

Tuesday, August 25, 2009


an expiriment
Originally uploaded by Mr Monk



Quick, stop what you are doing. Empty your pockets and take a look at the contents.
So, right now in my pockets are...
A wallet
A pair of saftey shears
A $10 bill
A Condom
My horoscope from last week's stranger
and my trusty kershaw blade.

I'm sure this was a meme, but this morning as I was getting dressed after my work out I could not help but note the odd things in my pockets. Got me wondering. What things are in your pockets?

Tuesday, August 18, 2009

Panda Kabobs

So here I am, sitting in my loft office pondering what to write. Perhaps I should tell the tale of just how my office came to be in such a disastrous state, as tweeted yesterday, or maybe show off this new German stock that I am thinking about offering up as a one time thing… Then the txt message comes into my phone “Can Mickey come out and play? The moustketeers want to splash in your (golden) shower”

Oh now there is a mental image. Monk and a couple of mouse eared cuties splashing about in his piss while he makes lewd commentary in that high pitched mouse voice.

Yeah, that is so brimming over with wrongablity that you just have to smile at it. Funny thing is, I never in a million years thought I would be asked to do watersports play as much as I do or enjoy it as much as I do. Few things make me cackle with such evil glee.

But why? You ask. Good question, one that I still can’t fully form in my own head. On the one hand there is the sheer taboo of it. The outrageous and naughty pleasure of doing something “dirty” and reveling in it. What can I say, I’m big on the whole “revel in your filth” kinda guy. And then there is the more symbolic and primal aspect. The marking of another, leaving your scent as it were. The beast in me understands this …primitive desire.

And then, then there is the whole dishevelment and destruction aspect. On rare occasions I meet a person and they just make my fangs come out. Something about how they move or smell or react to my topping energy just makes me want to do very, very bad things to them. I joke that it feels as if I want to kill a panda, eat it’s still beating heart raw, burn down a national monument, piss on the still smoldering embers and then go have ice cream.

It is one thing to want to play with someone, a whole other to want to simply destroy them…

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Wednesday, August 12, 2009

So I yanked this link from the LJ of one of the cutest Brits I have ever had the pleasure of spanking*, "Portraits of Men, At Their Most Masculine"

While interesting and insightful, save the one photo of the ass hat with the whiskey who is just down right scary, it got me thinking. last time I checked I was a man, quick let me check again... yep, my cock is still making most of my major life decisions, where do I feel most "Masculine"

For me, being "masculine" is a very physical thing. Being in my body, feeling the way it moves and responds to the world around it. So I would have to say it was a toss up for me; On a stage, in the saddle of a motorcycle or under a hard point with rope in hand.

Guys (or girls for that matter) what about you?

*Yes, Black Powder Betty, I am talking about you. Cheers!

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Monday, August 10, 2009

Snippet from a conversation with my fabulously gay hairdresser.
"So, what ya doing for your birthday?"
"Oh, steak and a blow job."
"Just one?"

Yes, it is that time again. The whole, "Monk turns another year older and shares what he learned this year" post. Feel free to tune out now, I recommend checking out my pals zombie music blog.

Now for the rest of you? This was a year filled with some amazing high points. Celebrating 20 years of marriage to my high school sweetheart and first love, pretty amazing. Collapsing in a pool of sweat and tears after completing the emotional marathon that was SEAF and the 3 days of rigging, performing and creating art? Fucking amazing.

And then there were the lows, the untimely and tragic death of my older brother. Our last words, angry and mean, the last memory I have of him. Being denied the right to even attend his funeral, old fueds and family divides unable to be bridged even in this time of loss. Watching, helplessly at the unimaginable cruelty that only a "family" can exact on eachother....

So what did I learn from all this? We are the creators of worlds, we choose to shape the reality in which we inhabit. It is not the who we are today, but rather the who we are working to become that counts.

I think U2 uses the line "Vision, over the visible"

Left to its own devices, the universe will crush us. Our short, painful lives, but a moment in the grand scheme of things. However we can choose to run screaming from the night and hide, refuse to face our fears and bide our time, safe under the covers till our days are done and time on this planet is up. Or we can look beyond who we are today, to who we *want* to be. The person we strive to become and take all the negative, all the shit and reshape it into something good. To hold the mirror up to our short comings, to our fears and limitations and admit that we are scared to death but we hold these things up to the light anyways. Lord knows in the last year I have failed, on several occasions, to be the person I want to be. Stumbling, clutching and retreating backwards. Causing more than my fair share of pain and frustration to those whom I love. Yet somehow, miraculously, they still loved me even when I could not love myself and for that I owe a debt that can never be repaid.

Yesterday I was asked "What do you want for your birthday?" and to that I say.

"To everyone who can read these words. Go do something that scares you, face a fear and be the person you want to become"

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Sunday, August 09, 2009

Well it is about damn time...
For the first time in like a week I am FINALLY feeling like my old, evil self. Thank you to everyone for the sweet notes and get well wishes, I really hate getting sick and this one knocked the stuffing out of me.

Fear not, your humble narrator was up to his old tricks today and is gearing up for what will be a delight filled birthday week. Yes, thats right. In less than 24 hours I'm turning... gasp 39! For a guy who never thought he was going to make it past 30, I for one am pretty shocked that the gem in my hand has yet to turn black and the sand men come a calling.

But, as with all birthdays, as I sit here and tap away at my ever so tiny netbook (I call it my "laptoplet") there will be the obligatory "what have I learned this year" self indulgent type posts to come. So you might as well tune out now and go see the latest dancing hamster video on youtube or maybe check out the new Might Boosh on DVD and tune in next week.

Consider this your fair warning....

Friday, August 07, 2009

Yup, still sick.

I have not gotten this sick since back in the day when I was doing the pre-show death march, but yeah. This cold/flu/ebola thing has just laid my ass out for the past 4 days. I'm mostly upright and functioning now, but I feel like I am swimming upstream through molasses.

A hell of a way to start a birthday weekend, huh? However I have it on good authority that if you are sick on your birthday week, you get a bonus week to make up for it. So this is me hoping my immune system finally kicks this thing's ass by Monday so I can get back to enjoying turning 39.

Thursday, August 06, 2009

Leave it to Monk to get sick right after the Abbey Party

Today is the first day this week that I have felt even remotely human. In typical Monk fashion, last week I pushed it too hard, went too many nights with little or no rest, then dumped all the mojo I had into one huge, glorious night of fun... and then as soon as I cleaned the mess up got sick.

I thought that with age also came wisdom? I guess not in my case.

So here is a snapshot from the event, taken by my fav photographer. The theme of the night was "Disco Inferno" and you just have to love having friends who take an idea and run with it. Me? I opted for my favorite '70s icon, Steve Martin.