Right now I should be in New Jersey

Yeah I’m still bummed out that we had to pull out of TES-Fest. Funny, the entire event has been filled with strangeness. Originally we were too late to apply for as vendors and put on the wait list only to be contacted like the week before we left for Shibaricon that there was an immediate opening to be had. The mad dash to prepare was disrupted by the fire at the Abbey, which resulted in our having to pull out at the last minute. In the long run it is probably for the best, still my ambition just hates having to say, “I can’t” to opportunities such as this.

In the words of the great philosopher Homer (Simpson), “Stupid brain, be quiet before I kill you with more beer!”

Oh well, in some ways it is for the best. I remember having to pull out of the very first Shibaricon due to a bad rope harvest that year. We came back the next year and made a killing and eventually became one of the event’s sponsors. I am disappointed that I will be missing seeing many of my new east coast friends and customers. That and there was the small matter of a pretty girl who wanted to get tied up, rain check perhaps?

In other news, we are busier than ever. Our amazing customers just keep coming back and they keep telling all their friends as well. So thanks, on top of a full work queue we have preparations for Dore Alley to consider. Dore is the smaller partner event to SF’s mammoth Folsom Street Fair. This should be a really fun event as I’m planning on just bringing down a crew of boys, donning the leathers and seeing what kinds of trouble we can get into.

Additionally, we just committed to vending at ARS2 in Austin come September. While this will be a pretty small, rope only event it promises to be an interesting one. We have some fantastic customers and friends in Austin that I am looking forward to seeing again. Also I will be bringing along a very special traveling companion and booth babe for this trip, Dancer. Yeah, this will be all sorts of interesting.

As if I needed another reason to be cranky about not going to TES-Fest

The amazing Michele Serchuck just sent me a couple shots of me that she and her partner Delano are going to be using as part of their presentation at this year’s TES fest. Now if you are going to the event, here is a description of the class.

Behind the Tie: Capturing Rope Imagery


Michele Serchuk’s rope bondage imagery, like all her erotic work, is shot with a portraitist’s eye. She delves beyond the surface beauty of the model and the tie, documenting their exploration in rope and the experiences of her subjects:
“I work collaboratively with my subjects to create art from our rope lives. My models’ desire and experience is as critical to the evolution of my work as is my own creative vision and craftsmanship. These people are not hired hands. They shoot with me out of a passion for rope and an eagerness to share the experience with each other and ultimately, with the viewer.”

Now if you are going to be attending TES and want to see more of their work, the class is on Saturday in the main event hall at 10:15am.

Me? Oh I’m probably going to be in the Abbey working to get caught back up and trying not to sweat into a puddle of goo in this heat. Yep. Time to start working (near) naked in the Abbey again.

Today marks the second anniversary of the night that changed my life.

Two years ago today when I stood on her porch and rang the bell I had no idea what was to come. The last 2 years have been among the best of my life, thank you.

I have no idea what the next year will hold, but I will treasure every moment that I get to spend loving you.

Tidbits and trifles on a sunny Saturday afternoon

Well first off, yes we are all sold out of “Phoenix”. We sold out in less than 36 hours. In fact the response was so overwhelming that at one point we actually overloaded our webstore service. To those of you who ordered this I say thank you. Thank you for caring enough about me and my little band of rouges to want a piece of our shared history. To those of you who missed out, once we get our collective heads above water and see to this initial crush of orders we will asses how much stock (if any) we have left over and place it back up for sale. I will announce it here on the blog first, so watch this space.

In other news, it is Gay Pride weekend here in Seattle (and probably the rest of the country too, but you know what I mean). While I do not sexually identify as queer, I tend to identify with the culture more than I do with the “straight life”. So I’ll be the first to admit that there is so much of history and struggle that I cannot begin to understand or lay claim to as my own, I guess maybe you could call me “Culturally Queer”? Also as a kinky person I owe a huge debt to the gay leather community who came before me for forging many of the customs and culture that I now enjoy as well as blazing the way for all of us in the “My sexuality scares most people” club.

Perhaps this is a topic better discussed in depth on another day? Right now I must finish polishing my motorcycle and round up Nerdy and Alex and go watch the parade and then dash down to the wetspot and host their monthly Vendor Night.

About that Boy Scout Uniform...

Half the fun of being a pervert is that you don’t have to reserve just one day of the year for dressing up in outrageous costumes. Why wait for Halloween when at most kink events you are encouraged to explore your creative side and dress as whatever makes your bits tingle.

Want to be the dirty vicar of St. Bernadette? Knock yourself out.

So when the time came to come up with an outfit for the Bondage Rodeo at Shibaricon I pondered many possible costumes. Circus master, complete with top hat, was one of the contenders. Then there was the idea of wearing a white t-shirt that read “KIMONO” across the front in huge letters, but I thought that maybe folks might not like that joke.

The obvious answer was, of course, a Boy Scout uniform.

As luck would have it, I was soon to have the pleasure of doing a hair cutting scene (something I have wanted to do for a long, long time) with my new boot polishing, gender-bending boy, Alex. Why not kill two birds with one stone and go for a new scout uniform? I thought to myself. I figured that I could also dress up little Alex in a scout uniform and do a “Disapproving scout master disciplining wayward tenderfoot” styled scene. (I'm sure a military uniform might be better suited for said scene, but my emerging uniform fetish is a post for another day)

Next stop the extra hip, funky vintage clothing store. My uniform was pretty easy to obtain. Heck the hardest part was picking one that had the best badges still attached; hey I’m not about to start removing the badges from my original scout uniform! I opted for an Assistant Scout Master uniform (complete with first aid certifications). Alex on the other hand was to prove a bit more of a challenge. See my “boy”, Alex, is actually a very small-framed girl and none of the Boy Scout uniforms would fit her small form. The only uniforms that would fit were the Cub Scout uniforms, not just any Cub Scout uniforms either. No, only the TINYEST, lowest ranking uniform fit.

So there I am standing in the Red Light vintage clothing store dressed in a Boy Scout troop leader uniform as my boy bounces about the shop in a cub scout uniform intended for a third grader, short pants and scarf going, “What do you think Daddy?”

“I think I'm definitely earning ringside seats in hell for this one, Alex.”

And how did said hair cutting go you ask? Well my dear boy Alex is now sporting a freshly shorn head (save the “emo swatch” that I was sworn to spare) that I like to stroke when he sits at my feet and I can add, “getting my boots licked clean” to the list of things that make my naughty bits tingle with glee.

We are now ready to start selling the new color, Phoenix. You, my loyal readers, get first dibs on this amazing and very limited color. Get yours here.

Phoenix Sneak Peak

Fresh from the dry-room and still a wee bit damp. The photo does not show off the bright yellow/gold tones as well as I would like, but I think it gets the general idea across.

Your thoughts?

For the record

There seems to be a lot of hubbub going on about the photo I posted yesterday. While I do not wish to delve into the details or open this to a public debate on this blog, I do respect the privacy concerns some of you have expressed to me directly and on other forums.

I do feel like I must state one thing, neither I, nor my company, commissioned, took, requested, or pre-approved the posting of these images. These shots were taken by a freelance photographer working for Bondage.Com and attending the event as the official “Press Photographer”. As a paid member of Bondage.Com I saw the images for the first time yesterday when they were posted. I pulled down a copy of one image, re-posted it here (unedited). At the request of one party, I did re-edit the image and blur their face.

I do not own this image (or any of them that were taken as part of the bondage rodeo); any concerns about personal privacy, model releases or publishing must be taken up with Bondage.Com and the original photographer.

Taking a break from the reconstruction to enjoy a good laugh.
Bondage.Com recently posted “candid” photos from Shibaricon 2006. This is a shot of me from the “Twisted Monk’s Bondage Rodeo” that we hosted at the event.


Yes, that is a boy scout uniform I am wearing.

Now the really fucked up part about this image is that this is not my original scout uniform, no it is my backup uniform. Yes I still have my original uniform, complete with 10 years of awards and merits (including Eagle Scout, thank you) and it still fits. By “still fits” I mean that I can button it all the way up if I bend my shoulders forward like a human taco and never raise my arms.

There is a story behind how I came into possession of this uniform. It involves head shaving, gender bending and a pair of freshly polished boots, but I’m going to save that for tomorrow or the next day. Right now I need to check on how the “Phoenix” dye bath is coming. This is color is shaping up to be our most ambitious color yet; I should have samples up by the weekend.

In other news, the shop reconstruction is coming along nicely. Nerdy started shipping out orders yesterday so if you are waiting on an order, look for it soon. On a personal note, I must again publicly thank and fall down with pride in my adoring and amazing partners. Through all of this, Tambo and Dancer have, in each of their own unique ways, held me up when I thought I could no longer stand and have refilled me with their energy and love when mine had run dry.

TwistedMonk.Com 1, Fire 0

After four long, grime filled days I am proud to announce that we are back in the rope making business! Sure, there is still lots of re-construction work left to do, a tarp covers the hole in the roof where the fire started, the new windows need some final seals installed and my office still smells vaguely of a bbq gone bad. However, these are all minor things, things we will address and correct in the coming weeks.

We could not have done this with out all of you.

The outpouring of support has been amazing. Donations of food, labor, money, well wishes and yes even the boobies made this recovery possible. I cannot begin to express my gratitude to all of you; mere words seem to not do the feeling justice. I am humbled and honored by it all. On Thursday morning, after the fire, I thought my world had ended and all I had built seemed lost forever, today as we take our first wobbly steps forward I am filled with great hope and optimism for what comes next.

On behalf of my crew my, leather family and myself, thank you.

This tale is far from over and I will blog more about this in the coming days, but right now I have rope to make. Our first dye bath is slated for tomorrow and I’m contemplating an appropriate color to commemorate the rebirth of this place we call hone, our beloved Abbey.

Welcome to the worst day of my life

It started out innocently enough, after having slept a glorious 12 hours and feeling remarkably optimistic about the looming deadlines that have been plaguing my attention all week I took my beloved Tambo out for a quick cup of coffee. It was as I was about to drop her off at the bus stop when I got the call. It was from my neighbor, M. Her shop and mine share a common wall.

“Monk, there was a fire in your shop…”

Amazing how in but a fraction of a second the mellow, happy day turns into a vomit inducing knot in the pit of your stomach. We race to the Abbey to asses the damage.

It’s a strange thing, walking into a fire scene. The gates to the Abbey were cut open and hung askew. Power had been shut off to most of the building so the place has this sort of eerie early morning quiet about it. The acrid smell of smoke and hemp fill the air as we walk into the devastation. The fire looks like it started on the roof, outside the shop, and made its way into the building along one of the corner walls. Overall the actual fire damage was minimal, however the damage from the fire department was unbelievable. Giant holes gape in the walls and ceiling where windows once stood, the plastic sheeting we used to insulate us against the cold winter winds now hang in tatters. Everywhere there lays a film of water and ash, mixing into a dirt that reeks of smoke. The floor of the main workspace is covered with an inch water. Bits of rope ends and invoices float past my feet as I run into the office to see how far the damage has spread.

I cannot express to you, dear reader, just how horrible that moment was. To see all I have built float past me in a puddle of stagnant water. All that I have sacrificed and bled for destroyed with the fireman’s axe. Sorta feels like I was kicked in the nuts, hard, and they the foot is still there. Last night this was the Abbey, my shop and our home.

This morning it is a crime scene.

After many hours of cleaning, the damage seems to be mostly structural to the outer building and to our drying room. The fire department is not saying exactly what caused the roof to ignite, save that it was “suspicious”. This will, of course, take us some time to repair, time we don’t have right now in the run up to TES. That is if we even attempt to go now.

By whatever gods choose to smile upon me, the office and storerooms are mostly untouched, save for some water on the floor that has destroyed some of our book stock. Most of our finished stock was spared.

Yes, we are insured. No, nobody got hurt. Yes, we will rebuild and re-start production again.

However right now Nerdy, Tambo and I really need a stiff drink.

Distracted by the boobies

Now one of the parts I really love about vending at events is meeting our return customers, Shibaricon was no exception. So many nice folks came up and told us their “I bought my first piece of rope from you… “ stories. In addition to stories and well wishes, folks also brought us photos they took of us at other events. These shots were taken by odd-art.com and are of me hanging up trinket at last year’s Folsom Street Fair. (You all remember her, right?)



See, trinket came all the way to Folsom St just to get hung up by me.


It was her fantasy to be hung up and put on display for the leering pleasure of several thousand perverts.



I think she got her wish.

Good times, bad times you know I’ve had my share…

The last 48 hours for me have been an interesting roller coaster ride, some very cool and amazing moments as well as some frustrating, saddening moments as well. While these will one day make great blog entries; sadly today I’m too wrapped up in the un-yielding pressure of the death march to sufficiently put any of them to paper with any skill or coherence. That, that dear reader will have to wait for another day when I am not feeling the thumb of god pressing down between my shoulder blades.

Of course it is not all that dire, Nerdy and Griffin return to the Abbey this week. With my full crew here and rested I can ease up a bit, who knows maybe even devote some creative energy to finishing another column for Jane (gee maybe I should just change that to a “Monthly Feature” and be done with it.). The response to our call for helpers at TES was astounding. Thank you. Nerdy and I are discussing our options and formulating a plan there.

And then there is the matter of me getting random photos of half naked girls. Nothing makes my day like getting an e-mail like this. Of course this is not just any “random girl”, rather a charming woman whom I did not get nearly enough time to talk to at Shibaricon.



So I guess it can’t be all that bad after all, best get back to it while the wind is at my back.

Me, interviewed on Poly-Weekly.

Amongst all the madness that was Shibaricon 06, I did get a chance to sit down with the ever-tasty Minx and record an interview with her. If you are considering long-term non-monogamy as a lifestyle choice and want some help on how to do it with integrity then I would encourage you to start listening to her weekly podcast.

Now I will confess that this was done on Sunday and I was a wee bit on the tired side, but Minx assures me that it is in fact funny, insightful and that I never once tried to impress her with my impersonation of Mickey Mouse as a top in a golden shower scene.

Decide for yourself here. (MP3 format, no Ipod needed)

Care to join Twistedmonk in lovely Newark, New Jersey?

Ok so here is the deal. Nerdy and I need a support person to help us out at TES-Fest. As luck would have it, all our local support folks are booked that weekend so it will be just us at the booth for all 4 days. This will be one of the largest leather conventions on the east coast and we need another crewmember on site. Nerdy and Monk vs. 1200 rope hungry perverts, not a pretty sight. Now this will not be a walk in the park, we are talking long hours, lots of carrying/fetching and TONS of customer interaction. Shy folks need not apply. Pay? What is that? I’ll cover room and board as well as access to the event and play parties. In addition you will have the opportunity to meet folks like Fetish Diva Midori, Michele Serchuck, Delano, Bridgett Harrington, Lochai and a whole raft of other folks.


Interested parties should contact me at workerbee@twistedmonk.com

Here, let me distract you with some funny stuff…

Well, what is left of the stock is being unpacked and we are slowly re-starting the rope-making juggernaut. Nerdy and Griffin both have this week off, but Sprite is pulling extra shifts this week in order to help fill in the gaps. If you placed an order before we left, we will have stock on hand start filling them on Friday.

In the meantime enjoy one of my first posts to get widespread commenting and links from other blogs. Enjoy.

Originally posted Saturday, October 30, 2004

The Perils of Penetration

Ever look thought the “alt” section of the personals? Wonder why there are so many couples seeking a bisexual female for “exploration and fun”? Well aside from the fact that it is like every man’s fantasy, bringing another woman into the bedroom is probably the most common starting point for couples who are thinking about embarking on an “alternative” sexual lifestyle. The local alt weekly personals is where Tambo and I found our first shared girlfriend experience.

I’d venture to say that a lot of you poly and swinger types out there are nodding your heads in agreement at this point.

Besides being a good starting point, it is also a hell of a lot of fun. Three hungry bodies all tumbling about the bed together make for what we like to joking call “The Sex Olympics”. Of course this assumes that the girls are bi-sexual, or at least bi-curious. Now, a 3 way with two adamantly straight girls… oh that would be like trying to drive 2 cars cross country.

Start one up, warm the engine a bit, drive it down the road awhile, pull over, stop the engine, hike back to where the other car is and start over…

Which brings me to the real point of this posting today, dear readers, for this is much what a girl who brings two boys to her bed will be facing. I have had my fair share of MFM sex, now most of this was in swing club environments, so I’ll grant that the view is a bit skewed. However, hear me out. Sex with 2 girls is easy. Sex with 2 boys… damn near impossible. Why?

Well first there would have to be the issue of bisexuality in men. Now most kinky/poly/swinger women I know are bisexual, however only a handful (a tiny handful at that) of men are bi. Some would say this is due to how women are wired differently than men while others would argue that it is due to the homophobic male dominated structure of the alternative sexual culture. Either way, that is an argument for another day. The fact is ladies, the boys you will be taking to bed with you probably are not there to suck the other’s cock. If they are? Well then consider yourself extra lucky and skip this part.

Now for the rest of you, here is what usually happens.

Picture if you will, a sexy curvy naked woman with two strapping, hard boys all ready to get busy. The only thing is, the boys do not look at each other and rarely even talk to each other. Oh and heaven help you if you try to compliment the other’s sexual prowess, a sure sign that you are actually a fag and guaranteed to make the other guy go soft. Nope, at all times there must be at least one woman firmly planted between the two men.

That’s what keeps it from being gay, you know.

So now you have 2 hard boys and they are comfortably far enough apart to still fuck you while not actually having to touch or otherwise make physical contact with the other. Then the next issue you have to overcome is rhythm. That is right, rhythm. You see, every guy fucks to a certain rhythm. Some fuck to the slow and steady blues beat. While others prefer a more driven, up-tempo beat. Ladies, picture yourself on hands and knees, one man in front, fucking your mouth while the other is in back. The one in front is happily pumping away to a nice basso nova beat while the one in back is doing “Master of the Puppets” to your ass. I think you can see where I am going with this. You end up getting bounced around and ping ponged back and forth between the two.

Oh and let’s not even talk about what to do if one of the boys cums too soon while the other is far, far away from being done. Now there is one for Ms. Manners…

Ok, so you got your two boys in bed. They are ok being naked in the same room and comfortable enough with their masculinity to both be with in one naked girl’s distance of each other. Good, now you have them both marching (as it were) to the same beat and not slapping you back and forth like the Detroit redwings. Fabulous. So now for the $64, 000,000.00 question. What about DP? I mean here you have two nice hard cocks. Why not live out the porn star fantasy and do the deed?

Consider this; most bodies have only so many “angles of entry” as it were when having sex. Let’s face it, your bodies can only accept penetration at certain vectors. Men too have only a limited number of “vectors” they are capable to providing as well. Add to this the issue of lenght and the need to compensate if one of the partners is ... well less than gifted in the whole "vector" department. The sad truth is that it is like a freaking math problem, working out the angles so that you can get both cock A and cock B into your body with out feeling like you are about to be torn in two. Or worse, having them constantly pop out due to the impossible angles needed to maintain penetration. Nothing is more frustrating than getting everyone into position, getting things lined up, making penetration, start to fuck only to have one guys cock suddenly pop out and jab the other guy in the nut sack.

Oh and on top of all of this, your boys better really like each other. I mean really like each other. If you can overcome all these obstacles, remember that there is only a small bit of tissue separating your ass and pussy. So from the guy’s perspective they are petty much rubbing cocks together inside you while their scrotums slap together. Personally, there are very few men I’m comfortable being that close to. Very few.


Oh and don’t even get me started on DVDA