Fun lil video post!
I've often said that anytime a bottom gives their top a gift, particularly a toy of some kind, it is implied that this is a request to have said object used on them in the near future. In this clip I open up a small care package and discuss just what all the items *might* be used for.

Untitled from Twisted Monk on Vimeo.

The Tale of Jezebel and The Head Mistress PT2

Continued from Friday's post.

True to Jezebel’s playful spirit, she arrives on my doorstep in the same outfit that Joan Jett would have worn, should she be sent to Hogwarts. Tall boots, plaid skirt, skimpy top that barely covers her inviting bust line, and pigtails. And yes, you guessed it, a single, bright red apple.

Now, let us pause for a moment and discuss the dynamics of a good scene. The trick is always to find the right pace, that rhythm from an orchestra that only you and your partner can hear as you both sway and move in time together. Jezebel and I dance well together so I was not concerned about us, but what happens when I introduce a third dance partner to the mix? What will happen then?

I really should not have lost a moment’s sleep wondering.

It only took a few minutes for Maggie, taking a commanding stance in the center of the room, to asses the situation and effortlessly join in the fun. It would seem that our dear, rebellious Jezebel was not applying herself in her studies and getting into mischief with the boys (and occasional girls) at her school, “Our Lady of Perpetual Arousal”. And if she expected to continue in her studies then she would require some strict discipline to curb her wicked, mischievous ways. My job was to be the good cop to Maggie’s bad, petting Jezebel and letting her know that while we knew she had potential. She was our “diamond in the rough’, and it pained us to have to punish her, but it was only for her own good. Obviously what were needed were some good, old fashioned spankings.

What followed was something out of “My Fair Lady Meets the Marquis De Sade”. Sure, we have all seen a girl balance a book on her head as she gracefully crosses a room. But naked, on her knees, and with a wicked ruler ready to make contact with her already red bottom the moment the book even made the slightest shift? Don’t get me started on how tricky it is doing all that while one’s mouth is full.

Oh, you want me to tell you that part? Perverts. Let me see… how about I leave you with this charming mental image. As Jezebel struggled to swallow as much of Maggie’s massive strap-on as she could with greedy lust, Maggie calmly puts a hand on her forehead and slows her pace. Explaining in a calm, teacher tone, “No, No my dear. Whores hurry, sluts savor… “

The Tale of Jezebel and The Head Mistress PT1

One of the aspects of sex work that I find I enjoy more and more is the opportunity to create something really memorable for someone. While I pride myself of being a good top and a creator of memorable scenes, being given both the freedom and the resources to draw upon in order to really make something unique for another person? That is just too damn cool for words.

I usually just hint here and there in my twitter feed and elsewhere about my exploits as a male pro, mostly out of respect for my patron’s privacy. But this tale is just too cool not to share. So share it (with the participants consent, of course) I shall.

Jezebel is a handful, a delightful and charming handful. Generous beyond measure in her spirit and desire to be challenged, she is always up for whatever new and devious delights I have in store for her. While the “errant school girl and strict authority figure” game is one of our favorites, I thought perhaps this time we were due for a twist.

It all started with an email. “I just received word from your school, they are very concerned about your illicit behaviors and unlady like manner. The head mistress has requested a meeting this Saturday evening at 8pm.”

Enter “Head Mistress Maggie”. If it were not for the fact that I have had the pleasure of knowing Maggie for many years, I would swear to you that she stepped right out of a Merchant Ivory film. Striking jet black hair pulled severely into a bun, her stern eyes look over the frames of her horn rimmed glasses as she raises an eyebrow with cool menace. When she showed up at my door, her strong curves accented by the severely cut black business cut jacket and skirt she wore, I was almost taken aback by the air of authority she radiated. Of course, it was when she lifted said skirt to reveal a strap-on, the size of which made my eyes bug out, that I knew we were in for an interesting evening.

“Ohhh, I hope she brings me an apple” Maggie giggled with evil glee.

Letters

How did you become a sex worker? What school did you go to? Are there schools for teaching sex work-craft?

Well let me see, as I studied sex work along with communications at a junior college in Spokane. Later, due to high marks and the decline in popularity of disco, I was able to parlay my undergraduate success into a full scholarship at the prestigious Secret European Sex House University – the branch campus, in Hoboken, NJ - where I took a double major in Sex-Work and Art History. Far from home with not many friends I joined the fraternity system and eventually pledged to the historic, Eye Phelta Thi house.

Those times were tough and money was tight so I took a work study job at the campus peep show and eventually graduated with marks high enough to qualify me for the both the dean’s list and national honor society. I’m very proud of those days and in fact I am looking at my diploma as I type this.

Seriously dude, a school? You’re kidding right? Seeing as how this is illegal in the US, opening a school for prostitutes seems a bit unwise. No. Sadly there is no formal education for this sort of thing. While you can learn the mechanics, as it were, of the trade. The skills needed to be a good, safe and experienced SM top can be learned over time in a wide number of places. Understanding the mindset, the psychology and what exactly it is that you are selling--an experience, the freedom to explore, the opportunity for someone to better understand themselves and their sexuality, which is not something I’ve ever seen taught anywhere. Rather, if you are lucky like I am, you will find yourself some experienced sex-workers, befriend them and listen to what they have to share. The fact that I am a male sex worker who sees exclusively female clientele adds an extra wrinkle to things, but the end goal is the same: create an opportunity for someone to explore their sexuality, their kink and themselves and in the end have them feel good about doing so.

Much like the skilled trades of old, you become an apprentice to a “master of the craft” (or in this case, “Mistress”) where they take you under their wing and share their wealth of knowledge with you. Perhaps one day when the this uptight country gets it’s head out from up its collective ass and sex work is made legal, then maybe you can sign up for my “Boy Whore 101”. Hmm, “Professor Monk” I like the sound of that.

On bottoming to the Mouse

Since returning from my all to brief vacation to sunny Florida, folks keep asking me, “So what did you think of Disney World?”
The best way I can describe the experience? “A lot like a scene actually”

Nothing is “real”, save for the experience you choose to have. The entire environment has been manufactured to create an illusion. Yes, some would argue that the illusion is a false one, a gentrified and “white washed” farce that glorifies so many of the things that are really wrong about our country. Yeah, I suppose you could say that and yes if you wanted to dig your heels into the dirt and grit your teeth while you were there, expressing your displeasure at the whole thing, then go right ahead and be miserable.

Or you can, like I did, accept that yes this is all one grand illusion (my apologies to Styx), relax, and sit back and marvel at how well the machine runs.

So how is this like a scene?

I recently had a client, a woman who sought out my unique brand of skills, who while pleasant and well behaved enough just could not let go. Through the entire scene, as I worked to create a mood and craft a memorable experience for her, she could not stop interjecting negative energy. My compliments would be responded to with small, negative snips. “Oh you are just saying that cuz I’m paying” and other such negative nonsense. Nothing overt enough to derail the scene, but just enough to keep her from really relaxing into the experience and forcing me to work extra hard to keep the illusion flowing.

So what does that have to do with Disney World?

Like traveling to the magic kingdom, she went out of her way to book my time, travel to see me and spent a pretty penny in the process yet the whole time she would not let her self enjoy it. Like the tourist who must constantly find fault, be it the lines or costs or the fact that Swiss Family Robinson tree house is actually made out of concrete (albeit very convincing) and not real wood. Why go to all the bother and expense if you can’t allow yourself the experience?

So yes, bottoming in a scene and going to a major theme park are quite similar. In both cases, you have to relax, let your guard down a bit and accept that yes, this is not real. At the end of the day, I’m still going to be the same person I was when I walked in so sit why don’t I just sit back and give myself permission to enjoy the illusion. Marvel at the craftsmanship that went into creating the moment and above all else, have fun.

A little help here?

And so dear readers, I find myself in a bit of a pickle and need some advice. One of my favorite patrons recently asked if the next time we played we could do an interrogation scene. Now, interrogation scenes are always one of my favorite games to play.

The thing about a scene like this, in my experience, is that they require 3 key elements to make them unforgettable. Location, chemistry and costume.

I have an excellent location (complete with a holding cell) to deliver the scene, so that part is easy. Chemistry, as with any scene that involves a lot of role play the need for good play chemistry is key. Both parties must "want" to buy into the fantasy. Again, not a problem. In fact I'm quite honored that the victim in question asked me to do this, hence my last quandary.

The costume...

Normally I'd dust off my vintage cop uniform, pictured here at Folsom, but this one has gotten a lot of use and I don't really have a good follow up to it. (Matisse teases me that I should just move down the line and pick either the Indian chief or the construction worker next) Sure, I could don my regular "uniform" of tall boots, BDUs and tank top. While idea for when I want to open up the taps and kick someone's ass, this is not ideal for projecting that certain authoritative menace. My tastes tend to run to the vintage and obscure so your basic LAPD cop garb is really not my style.

So this would be me, asking you... what sort of uniforms turn you on?

The Eternal Question

Hello im very interested in being a professional Dom I have read a few books but books will never give me experience or teach me Trix of the trade so to speak. Do you teach, know of schools or masters who are willing to take on students?
-JJ

Ah, yeah, welcome to the most commonly asked question by men of sex workers (or at least one of the top 5): “How do I become a male sex worker?” Now, I am assuming you are asking specifically about becoming a paid service provider for female clients? That is usually the case when this question is asked. Too bad really, I have several customers and acquaintances who service gay male clientele and they tell me that business is good and always in need of new talent.

Ask this question of a career sex worker and she will (if you are lucky) politely chuckle and tell you that you have a better chance of getting abducted by aliens and subsequently writing a best seller about it than becoming the elusive male gigolo. I believe the polite term would be “urban myth”.

Here is where I break ranks with the rest of the pack and say, rather than this being impossible, the odds of it happening are very, very, VERY (did I mention very?) improbable. See, I know a handful of men (myself included) who actually do get paid by women for various, shall we say, “professional services”.

The best analogy I can use would be this. Say you want to be the next James Bond. Daniel Craig will be stepping down after the next film, so it is reasonable to assume that someone has to fill that role, and get the fame/fortune that comes with it. However, there are millions of starving actors in the world who will all be lined up at the door the second they even start thinking about re-casting the role. Male sex work is much the same. Since the dawn of time, women have sold sex and men picked up the tab. That is just the way the universe works - with a few exceptions. What you are hoping to charge for, a thousand horny guys will do for free, or even pay to do.

However, these rare exceptions do exist. Like I said, the number of men I am talking about is TINY and this is not their primary source of income. I’ll probably get shit from the professional guys I know for even admitting that they do exist, but I will share what I do know about this very rare breed.

Unlike men, who will purchase sex based on sheer novelty or the particular shape of breasts being offered, women are much, much more particular about how they choose a provider. Reputation and relationship seem to be the two strongest governing aspects of how they make the decision to purchase such services.

Let us pause for a moment right here; the word services is a very broad term. This can be anything from the classic “porn stud” sexual experience to non-sexual SM to even erotic massage. So when I say services don’t just assume fucking for money, deal?

Now, of the male providers I know, every one of them has been active in their various alt-sex communities for years - in some cases a decade or more. Previous lovers, bottoms, friends and mentors all vouch for their skills, and more importantly, their character as a safe player. Some are, I dare say, experts in their particular field of sexual play, with a substantial reputation to back up the compensation they request. A female client wants someone they can trust to come to with their fantasies, have an experience (in whatever form that may take) with, and all the while know that their safety and privacy will not be compromised.

Ask most guys what they think being a male sex worker is like and they will tell you something like, “Show up, pull out my monster cock and bang the living shit outta some hot chick for an hour and get paid for it.” or something to that porn-tinted effect. The truth of the matter is quite different. It’s not about what I want to do, or what my “good idea meter” tells me it wants to do. Rather, the goal is to understand the needs and desires of the client and to craft an experience, a bubble if you will, in which their fantasies – not yours - become reality. While this may sound like a negative, it is in fact quite the opposite. To be granted access into a woman’s fantasies, and to take those desires and create an experience that is both memorable and well… hot, is richly satisfying. In that moment, there can be great intimacy and connection and we both enjoy it greatly. And when the moment is over, we allow it to pass, and we happily rejoin our respective lives.

Still thinking you want to try this? Ok, forget finding a mentor to “show you the ropes” as it were. Again, good female clients are a rare thing and male providers are not about to share their hard-won clients with anyone. That and the fact that this sort of thing makes up a tiny percentage of play that we do, apprenticeship opportunities are not going to happen. I mean you might get a job as “stunt cock” somewhere along the line, but even then don’t expect much more than a handshake and free condom out of the deal. (For those of you who don’t know what that is, that is when a female provider contracts you to for one of their bisexual male clients or in rare cases a female client of a female sexworker. In either case you will be closely directed as to what you are expect to do and not do) Also, there are no “Male Escort Review Sites” and posting an ad on Craigslist will most likely net you nothing but grief. So finding clients of your own will be the challenge. Amongst all the male service providers I know, their clients approached them first.

So why even bother you ask? I know that for myself, being a small business owner means that every single extra dime I make gets reinvested into my company and crew, this often leaves me with a little extra for myself. The generosity of my clients allows me to spoil myself in little ways. Like extra time with my massage therapist, or getting those expensive jeans that I would not normally buy for myself. Also, this has opened up opportunities for me to play with some beautiful, dynamic women that I would not have gotten to meet otherwise, because they were not shopping in the local SM community.

But let me just restate again, you will not be buying a new Audi anytime soon. Female clients are very rare, of all the play I write about on this blog only a tiny percentage are paying for the experience and most do so anonymously, hence they are NOT written about.

Haven’t talked you out of this yet? Alright then, more power to you, but let me return to the Bond analogy one last time. My advice to you would: study your craft. Take classes, read books, and go to BDSM conventions. Pay your dues in your community and maybe, just maybe if all the stars align, you’ll get a rare shot at an audition for the elusive role of Mr. Bond. Just understand that even if you have paid all your dues, have the look, the skills and the emotional chops to play the part, that casting director may choose the other guy, and there is not a damn thing you can do about it. That’s the reality for female sex workers and it’s a reality for us, too.

It is my hope that by writing this that those men out there who have always asked the question understand that this is possible, but that they need to realistically re-adjust their expectations as to what is required. Also, there is a social taboo around the idea of women seeking out sex workers. Again by telling you all this, it is my hope that they too will have more opportunities to pursue these things should they want it. In the end, this is not the end of a conversation, but rather the beginning of one.