Wednesday, February 28, 2007

Boston Bob

The longest ride in the world is the one that takes you away from a leather convention and to the airport. I’m not sure if it is just the exhaustion of being “on” for several days in a row or the act of having to transition from the microcosm that is a closed convention and back into the “real world” that does it, but it all starts on that ride. I was explaining this to Alex as we pulled out of the host hotel in Boston. Worn threadbare tired, we propped ourselves up in the back of the shuttle van as it crawled its way though the thick morning commute. To the rest of the passengers we must have looked a bit like exhausted gangsters, me with one hand resting firmly on my backpack (specifically on the pocket that held the frighteningly huge wad of cash from the weekend) and the other cupping Alex’s shaved head.

Now at this point I should mention that for whatever reason, the fine people of Boston don’t seem to want you drive directly to where ever you need to be, no they seem to prefer that you sort of sneak up on your destination. Rather than cruise along the highway, this morning we were inching along a 4-lane highway that cut through a part of town what could only be described as “low rent”. Trailer parks and used car lots announcing things like “financing for anyone” or “cash for your car NOW” passed slowly by our window. It was after passing what had to be the 100th Dunkin doughnuts franchise (what is it with all them anyways?) when we saw him.

Bob in the window.

At a casual glance it was another cheap motel. A small, dingy affair located along side the road. A long, low building with a series of doors facing out into a small parking lot and a garish neon sign pointing out that rooms were available. There he stood, standing in the all glass lobby door, one hand pressed up against the frame as if he were to open it at any moment and step into the frigid morning air. Save he would not be stepping out any time soon, due to the fact that his gray sweat pants were pushed down around his knees and his other hand was busy stroking his semi erect cock as he watched the traffic go by with an air of abject boredom.

Just another morning for him?

Alex and I both caught sight of him at the same moment and turned with stunned expressions of “Did you just see what I…” thanks to the slow commute we were able to confirm what we thought we saw, repeatedly. I’m not sure if the rest of our fellow passengers also caught the show, if they did then they had the good sense to make comment.

Alex and I were all we could to not burst out into hysterical laughter.
“Daddy, why do you think he had his hand on the door like that?” asked Alex.
“Maybe he needs the blast of cold air at the last second to finish him off?” I replied
Not pausing a beat, Alex fires back, “Or maybe he hates cleaning the glass afterwards and opening the door will save him that chore?” Even tired that kid has a wicked sense of humor. “He looked so bored? You think maybe he does this every day?”
“Obviously the bagel and coffee thing in the morning is just not doing it for him anymore.”

Monday, February 26, 2007

Small Business Porn

After two plus years of moving production to the Abbey we finally have new work surfaces! Would you believe that up to this point we made due with an odd collection of folding tables, a counter top on saw horses and a couple of shopping carts we found under the bridge? It was tough at times, constantly cramped for available workspace and swamped with ever increasing production demands, but we are a creative bunch and made due.

Long time readers of this blog will remember what it was like when we first moved into the space. A huge, filthy blank slate of industrial warehouse that we had no idea how to fill or even if we could maintain enough sales to even pay the monthly rent. Little by little we keep upgrading, moving from makeshift “what if?” inventions intended to save the wear and tear on our bodies or improve the product to custom built machines, a constant cycle of creativity, hard work and re-investment.

Never stopping, never settling for ‘good enough”, but rather “how can we make it better?”

Friday, February 23, 2007

Ok, so I stole this from one of my favorite web comics...

I actually had an almost identical conversation with Alex before taking him to his first ever leather convention, the Boston Fetish Flea. Want to know something really odd? I’ve been to a lot of kink events as of late due to the company and I keep seeing the same guy. Large events, small events, east coast and west coast I see him.

He is a guy in his mid forties to fifties with a build that would best be described as, “I used to play football”. He always wears the same thing too, a French maid’s costume. A pink, tafita one, you know the kind you see sold in novelty shops along the interstate? The kind that guys who have absolutely zero clue as to what is sexy buy for their girlfriends out of the back of magazines like “Big Booty Babes” and “Whoppers”?

Sure, if the guy wants to cross dress, go for it. Who am I to judge, heck I’ve been known to sport a corset and high heels from time to time too, but a pink maid’s uniform? Why not something classy and flattering like a Bob Mackey gown maybe, or even a classic black uniform… but cheap pink?!

All kidding aside, every con I go to, EVERY CON. I see this guy.

Ya think I’m being stalked?

Thursday, February 22, 2007

Great, I am *just* bordering on getting sick. Well enough to sleep through the night with out the aid of drugs, but worn down enough to want to do nothing more than just sit here and look at 70's porn.


Need to get better; Matisse and I are really looking forward to getting to spend the weekend together. Been ages since we got an extended block of time together and we are both really aching to enjoy it together.

Thankfully I have nothing pressing to do today, save make a crap load of rope for Max’s upcoming bondage intensive. Oh, if you pre-ordered kits and have not yet gotten your confirmation e-mail. Sorry, we will be sending those out today. If you are waiting till the last minute, dude you are screwed. Nah, we might have ONE kit extra, but you will need to jump on it today.

One final thing.

Did you miss out on your chance to get your hands on our one of a kind rope we made for Midori, LifeLine? Miss the Seattle Bang for the Buck party too? Here is your chance to get a piece of both. As you may know, we made a limited run of our exclusive German 4 strand rope in red and donated the profits to the Aids LifeCycle. The response was so huge that we sold out of said rope in less than 48 hours. Last week at Midori’s annual fundraiser, Bang 4 the Buck, the women of Twisted Monk presented a check to the tune of 1000.00 bucks AND several other prizes that would be raffled off that night. All told, $1500 in cash and prizes donated to a great cause.

Here is the best part, we saved one last thing for all of you who could not make the party. That would be 2 10’ lengths of lifeline rope, a TwistedMonk.Com t-shirt all packaged in a limited edition heart shaped tin. What makes it limited you ask? Perhaps because it was also autographed by Midori too? Only 4 of these were made, Midori took 3 and I am auctioning the 4th off on ebay. ALL the proceeds from this auction will be donated to the Aids LifeCycle too.

Hop on it kids, the auction ends Tuesday

Tuesday, February 20, 2007

Dark Chest of Wonders

I’m always sort of embarrassed to write about the gifts my customers send me. Most folks would be happy just to have a thriving business with loyal customers, but somehow I got lucky and not only have those but also customers who send me the most amazing gifts as well. Your generosity and goodwill just blows me away some days.

Last week I got something that just knocked my socks off and I simply must share it with you.

This came to the Abbey from a stunning woman named “XK” whom I met recently in Boston. At the Flea she brought us some much enjoyed chipotle spiked chocolates and charmed my socks clean off. Sparks, you ask? Perhaps? Upon my return to Seattle, I was treated to sweet a note asking permission to send along a care package of more chocolates (and other treats if desired).

A week later, this arrived at the Abbey addressed to me.

Amazing no? Check out the back of the box.

The amount of time and creativity that went into the packaging alone floored me. See, I have a bit of a fetish for the gift of time. Being time starved and triple booked, I never seem to have enough time for myself. I really value the gift of time. When someone gives you the gift of his or her time, do not take it for granted. To invest the time and energy into the creating of the box alone was really astounding. What was inside the box you ask? Well, more chocolates for one thing. Along with some of my favorite vices, fresh coffee from a boutique roasting company, hard to find treats and a custom mix CD of music (my other vice). There were a few other items in the box that I, being the gentleman that I am, won’t describe save that made my day brighter (and my trousers a bit tighter).

And so to the sweet and sexy XK, a humble thank you and the promise of a more, shall we say physical showing of my gratitude, should our paths cross again.


Monday, February 19, 2007

Wow has this just been an overwhelming weekend! If you were in Seattle this weekend then you probably heard about Midori’s big fundraiser, Bang 4 the Buck. This is a women’s only fundraiser for the Aids Lifecycle that she and her partner Kelly organize every year. This year we were delighted to help sponsor the event and thanks to all of you, donated a really sweet chunk of cash to the cause (as well as some great, one of a kind rope prizes) but seeing as how the party is only open to women, I have no idea how it went. Tambo, Nerdy and the rest of the female TwistedMonk.Com continent are still at said party. I figure they will tell me about it eventually.

If you missed the event too and want get in on the fun, stay tuned, I have one last little something up my sleeve.

Till then, lets talk about bike lust. Yep, I’m jonseing for a new motorcycle. Now as you may know, I have ridden my faithful vintage bike, Boris, for many years. While I love the unique charm and head turning power that is an old Russian bike with sidecar (not to mention the ability to ride said bike 365 days a year, even in snow). Now I am not about to give up my sidecar, but lately I have felt the all to familiar tug of the two wheel variety. That urge to ride fast and lean again. See, you don’t lean a sidecar-equipped motorcycle, you more sort of throw your body weight against it and force it around the corners. Nope, I’m feeling the need to press my knees against the tank and lean through my corners. The question is, what bike to get? I used to think it had to be a big ol’ Harley. You know, the badass leather daddy on a chopper, but in reality that just isn’t me. Besides, I think I am confident in my manhood enough to not require such over compensation. Nope, I’m thinking something British and sleek. Like an old Norton or perhaps something rare and retro like this little pretty from the same guys who build my Boris. Or perhaps an Enfield?

I just realized that all these bikes (including the one I already own) are all non-standard bikes. machines that require a bit more than just gas in the tank to keep on the road and not your standard sort of thing you see every day. Must say something about me, the "standard" just bores the hell out of me.

Thursday, February 15, 2007

Kinda quiet here today (and probably tomorrow too)
I have a couple of mad ass busy days in the works and am not feeling all that talkative right now.

I do however have to tell you this, while I am not much for the whole Halmark fueled Valentines Day madness, it does have a specail spot in my heart. See, this also happens to be the aniversary of Tambo and I's first date. It was, pardon me while I shake the dust out of my brain and count on my fingers and toes, 22... no 21 years ago that we spent the afternoon cruising second hand clothing stores together.

Yep, 21 years ago.

Some days I am not sure why she puts up with all my antics, lord knows I would have stuffed me into a wood chipper by now, but she is a far better person than I.

Wednesday, February 14, 2007

Nothing says Valentines Day like jamming arround the Abbey to old school Public Enemy turned up to 11.

Tuesday, February 13, 2007

The Seattle Erotic Art Festival Needs Your Help!

It is that time to sign up to volunteer for SEAF! The emails are coming in, but we would love to see more!

Please let us know which of the following positions you are interested in and when you’d be available.

If you want to work before or after the event, consider:

Technical positions—We have a number of positions available for volunteers with interest or experience in set design/construction, lighting, sound, and other production-related tasks.

Art Handlers—Unpack and hang art. Must attend an art handling training the first weekend in March (date and time TBD) and be available to work Wednesday March 14th (day or evening), Thursday March 15th (day), or Sunday March 18th (evening).

Setup/Construction Crew—Move furniture, install/paint exhibition walls, take down walls, and related activities. Must be available for shifts Sunday March 11th through Wednesday March 14th and/or Sunday March 18th (evening) or Monday March 19th (day). There are positions for skilled carpenters and unskilled but willing helpers.

If you want to work during the event, consider:

Technical positions— We have a number of positions available for volunteers with interest or experience in lighting, sound, make-up, and other production-related tasks. During the event, these positions work with the performers and/or lecturers.

Event staffing—Ticketing, check ID, coat check, distributing programs and polls, collecting polls, and other general task including light clean-up. Please let us know if you have specific preferences or limitations on what you are able to do (such as not able to stand for extended periods or needing to take frequent breaks). Shifts are available throughout the festival; please let us know your availability on each of the Festival days (Thursday, March 15th through Sunday, March 18th). (Also please let us know if you have made inquiries about other volunteer opportunities with the Festival so we can coordinate scheduling.)

Docents—Greet guests and give them a brief guided tour of the Festival. Must be willing to dress appropriately (20s-40s elegance) and willing to attend a training class on art sales.

Auction Staff—Registration and Vanna positions available. Must be available to work from 5p to 11p on Saturday March 17th and dress appropriately (20s-40s elegance)

For more info go to the website or sign up via e-mail

Monday, February 12, 2007

What did I do on my weekend? Funny you should ask.

Let me see, my buddy Graydancer came out for the weekend to visit.

I finally got a cage for my office. While it is a bit larger than I would have liked, the price could not be beaten. I inherited it from a friend who was helping a friend who, due to old age and failing health, needed to dismantle his dungeon. So it is actually rather cool, the cage already comes with a colorful history, a history that I’m planning to add to.

I’m also the proud owner of a rotating St. Andrews Cross. Where the hell am I going to put that? Not sure. We are having some new construction done at the Abbey this month so once that is done we should the perfect spot. I’ll post a photo when that happens.

Then there was this little party where I got to be mean to a great guy, C. Now whenever we play it is less of a formal scene and more an opportunity for us to wrestle about, get sweaty and blow off steam. (Lord knows I’ve been a stress ball as of late and needed it, thanks buddy you rock) That and the women all seem to really enjoy it when we play together, not sure why but we always seem to draw a crowd when we get going.

On Sunday we recorded a podcast while sitting at my kitchen table drinking coffee and recovering from the previous night’s debauchery.

In other news, thanks to everyone who offered to help distribute propaganda for Shibaricon, expect those care packages to arrive by weeks end.

We still have a TINY bit of lifeline left. Thank you to everyone for stepping up and helping to support this project. We will are giddy with glee that this has been so successful.

Oh and on top of all that I worked my ass off, made lots of rope and possibly found the perfect next employee. You don’t really care about all that, now do you? You just want to see another sweaty photo don’t you?


Thursday, February 08, 2007

As you may know, my little rope company will once again be sponsoring Shibaricon. This event is the largest rope event of its kind and will attract hundreds of rope bondage enthusiast from all over the world. 4 days of classes, parties and lots of very cool people.

I need your help to spread the word. See, I have in my possession a few thousand postcards that advertise the event. The plan was to include them with all our outbound orders during the pre-Christmas rush, however due to a planning snafu I just got them - almost 3 months late. Now I ship a LOT of packages out every week, but there is no way I’m going to run out of these cards before registration closes for the event. It would be a shame to see them go to waste.

Here is where you can help me spread the word. If you have a bondage SIG, munch, local play space or club that you would like to share the good word with please drop me an e-mail ( ) with your mailing address and I’ll send you a stack of cards (and a few other TM goodies as well to say thanks) to share with your friends. Thanks!

Oh and you wanted another Boston story didn’t you?

OK a quick one. Go to any SM/leather event and you are bound to see folks wearing collars. Collars have a wide range of meanings and varying levels of significance to those who wear them. However what is it with the bored looking folks in collars? Both Alex and I were a bit embarrassed to see a rather large number of bored looking women, usually dressed in a badly tied rope harness, being lead about on a collar and leash. As it to add insult to injury, if the bored expressions were not painful enough to watch, they did not even have the decency to use good rope!

Then they came to visit, the happiest submissive on a collar I have ever met. A trio of leather men, the first two were dressed in what you might call the “classic” leather tradition, 501 jeans, chaps, and leather vests. Nice guys who wanted to get some good rope and learn a few new ties. As we chatted and talked rope, their submissive stood just behind them and joyfully added his feedback to the discussion. “oh I like that color” or “I love it when they tie me up like that”
Did I fail to mention that the submissive in question was a 50 something man, shirtless, bald and covered in body hair? While not the prettiest thing to behold, he was simply ecstatic to be there, the pure joy of his huge smile and beaming blue eyes was contagious.

Leaving the booth, the submisive’s arms full of freshly acquired bundles of rope and books, the lead leatherman give the leash a playful tug and is rewarded with a laugh and smile from other end.

Wednesday, February 07, 2007

A very different color of the month

Every month I try to come up with some silly story to describe the new color of the month. A silly story, a catchy name and off it goes. From my workshop to your toy bags. This month, this month’s color is different. No double entendre named rope here, rather an opportunity to get some amazing rope while contributing to something greater. TwistedMonk.Com and Midori have teamed up to create a new, limited run color for February. We start out with our ultra premium, German 4 strand rope stock, an exotic hemp that up till now has only been available in its natural golden brown color, and dye it a dazzling crimson. The result, a one of a kind rope that we call…

Every February Midori holds fundraisers in Seattle and San Francisco to raise funds for The Aids Lifecycle . This year, in addition to helping sponsor these events, TwistedMonk.Com will donate the profits from the sale of this rope to The Aids Lifecycle. HIV/AIDS impacts us all and by working together we will change the world for the better.

This ultra premium rope is only available in 6MM widths.

This is a limited, one time color run. Once the color has been sold out, it is sold out for good.

Monday, February 05, 2007

As quoted by
Hottest BDSM Trend: Rope. Where to get it? Monk. - I've personally long been a fan of rope bondage, as longtime readers of this website know. Since finding the non-kinky love of my life a few years ago, I've had the joy of introducing him to this particular brand of fun. Monk has made it his personal mission to make it as easy as possible for the masses to tie up their lovers, with his finished hemp rope in all sorts of lovely shades. He (and his products) rock our boat.

Wow... just wow.

In other news, the new color of the month announcment will be later today.

Friday, February 02, 2007

Random Friday Notes:

Today marks the first of three glorious days of vacation for me. Yep, after the huge win in Boston and all the work it took to get there I’m going to reward myself with a few days off. Funny how the idea of a long weekend feels like a vacation after so many 6-7 day work weeks. (Matisse is betting that I will be going into withdrawls by Saturday night) While there is still way more work than ever before to be done at the Abbey, I’ll leave that in the capable hands of Nerdy for the time being.

To the sweet couple who brought us cookies at Boston, Alex wants the recipe for the chocolate caramel cookies. He has become obsessed.

I’m getting e-mails asking what February’s color of the month will be. Tune in Monday morning for the announcement. Don’t be late, this one will go fast.

Max is teaching another one of his fantastic bondage classes this weekend. While I will not be vending, Tambo and I will be attending as tourists. I’m rather looking forward to it.

I have more Boston stories to tell, I promise.

Oh and Happy Birthday Johnny Sunshine :)

Thursday, February 01, 2007

The first rule of fight club is…

They warned me before I got into Boston that they had a slightly different view of SM in that town. Most of the country has laws that state something to the effect that you cannot consent to assault. This means that consensual SM play (spanking/flogging/etc) is against the law. While most states have similar laws on the books, most tend to not enforce them. Massachusetts, on the other hand, chooses to enforce them (and a few other odd laws too). As one customer put it, “welcome to Massachusetts where I can marry my same sex partner, but gods help me if I want to give him a spanking”

Much of the kink scene is underground, forced into the closet and not talked about.

To make matters worse, the laws vary from township to township with each one having their own spin on what they consider to be “indecent”. As fate would have it, the giant hotel where the event was held straddled two townships. On side of the hotel, nudity and bondage related imagery was legal. Just across the lobby, in the neighboring township, it was not. Thankfully our vendor area was located on the more liberal side of things. The art show, ironically, was not. The event organizers moved mountains in their attempts to meet everyone’s needs and not run afoul of the law, but in a last minute move to appease the local morality police all the “objectionable” art in the show had to be turned so it was facing the wall. A small sign was placed next to it, informing the viewer that if they wanted to they could turn the picture away from the wall and peak at the other side, but they must return it to its original, back facing, position when done.

Meanwhile on the other side of the hotel, we were not completely off the hook ourselves. Bondage is not technically assault, so there were lots of rope classes and bondage lounges and opportunities for rope to be used, however the cops were watching everything with great interest. They really seemed to like our booth. Maybe it was the Osada Steve videos we had playing at the booth or maybe it was the fact that I was doing rope demos on the sales floor. I do this one demo, a flashy and fast chest harness that takes a person from casually putting their hands behind their back to incapacitated in a 20 second flurry of rope, that really got their interest. See it always startles the demo bottom and elicits a yelp of giddy surprise when I give the final knot a firm, commanding tug. Alex would later tell me that while I was tying, a handful of officers stood by and watched with great interest, each one with a look of, “so it is assault yet? How about now, he’s got her on the floor?”

Boston has some great folks who have worked very hard to develop some kind of kink community in spite of all the backward laws they have to deal with. Sadly many parts of it are still underground and folks only get to come out to events like the Fetish Flea once a year to be amongst kindred spirits. So before you go griping about your local community, be glad you at least have a place to gather and play, it could be much worse.